I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.
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And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:
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After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to.
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.
Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.
Voicemail greeting: "Hi. I'm probably home but avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message after the beep. If I don't call back it was you." Menu No categories 7 Funniest Voicemail Greetings That Will Make You Chuckle The Team 5 years ago No Comments Next '
If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.Usually what I think is funny most of the timeis when my friends or family, after the beep, say "hello? Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! It gets everyone every freakin time because it makes it seem like you answered, but then they realize a few seconds later after they already started talking to you that you didn't.
24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"
Classic dad move: Boyfriend's dad left a (phone) message to make sure we got his email. Related Keywords answering machine punsprivate branch exchange punspager punsemail punslandline punstelephone punstelephony punsvonage punscell phone punsmailbox punsmessaging punsintercom punsfaxes punsanswering punscellphone punsmessages punsbeeper punsgmail punspaging punsswitchboard puns
Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!
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Another way to make up funny voicemail messages is to act like a device has come alive. For instance, you could say,"Hello, I'm Bob's hair dryer, and I've taken over because I'm way more interesting. If you'd like to leave a message for him and have your hair dried at the same time, just hold up the phone." Answering like an answering machine, a microwave, or refrigerator and using the functions of that device in the answer are easy ways to create a fun voicemail.
Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.
So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.