Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.
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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.
Voicemail is a wondrous invention that can truly define ‘godsend’. It gives you the option of keeping annoying people at bay, without being outright rude. It only seems fair then, to return the favor by spicing up your voicemail greeting. Voicemail Ideas • I’m not at home today, and I …
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As I was about to get into advising you on the best practices of voicemail recordings and greetings, here’s what was blasting in my ears: “I can’t keep on losing you / Over complications / Gone too soon / Wait, we was just hangin’”… I’ll let you make the parallel.
Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.
Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
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Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn:
No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
No50: How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!! A Laugh Line Media Inc. Copyright © 2009-2011. All Rights Reserved
While many businesses can use this standard voicemail greeting, not everyone’s business wants to be the same as the others. If you’re looking for a more unique approach, here are four sample voicemail scripts to try:
I know that in some cases you’re going to have a budget you have to work with for your voicemail greeting ideas. If you are looking to hire a voice talent chances are you have a budget in mind.
This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!
Website: https://www.voicemail-greetings.com/000-selection-of-voicemail-greetings.html