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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
7. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I’m currently out of the office, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll return your call as soon as I get back. .

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Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.
Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?

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39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today. This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today.

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Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

  • short and funny voicemail greetings

    So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.

    Movies and Television. There is surely no better way to make voicemail fun than with pop culture references. Tim Gunn . Play off a classic line delivered by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. "Of all the messages on all the phones in all the world, you have to leave one for me."
    45. Hi, this is [X department] at [X company]. We’re not able to take your call right now, but if you leave a quick message after the tone, our next available representative will call you back shortly.

  • best voicemail messages

    Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

    The lovey-dovey stars each debuted new dos on Wednesday. Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez have both been sporting new hairstyles th...
    There’s one old woman with a little black purse tomahawking him. She looks like a…jackhammer. We got another woman that’s hitting him like she’s got a cattle prod. She’s got an umbrella she’s sticking it in his side.

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    Setting Up Tracfone Voicemail Youtube Prepaid Phones Prepaid Cell Phones Phone Card
    #3 “Hey this is Bryan, I’d tell you what to do at the beep, but I’m pretty sure you already know what to do. So yeah, just do it.”

  • personal voicemail greeting samples

    07Thank you for calling [business name]. I’m out assisting other clients with their goals, at the moment, but look forward to attending to you. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call within one business day. To schedule an appointment press 1. This is an example of an industry-specific voicemail greeting. This voicemail gives specific and clear instructions to the callers.

    “You have reached the voice mailbox of nine.. one.. eight.. three..” or “Hey, this is (name), leave a message after the beep”, are some boring and typical voice-mail greetings that we generally record on our phone voice mail. But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.
    No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

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professional voicemail greetings for medical office

No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.

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Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:. Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we'd continue….

good personal voicemail greeting examples

3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.

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Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.

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