professional business voicemail greetings samples

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep." iPhone wallpapersiPhone ringtonesAndroid wallpapersAndroid ringtonesCool backgroundsiPhone backgroundsAndroid backgrounds Home Q&A Physics Math Chemistry Biology Programming Arts History Business Language Spanish English Tips Review Blog what's the best voicemail app for android Wish You Hadn T Biggest Mistake Of My Life Heart Quotes Strong Quotes Life Quotes By clicking submit you agree to Phorest Salon Software storing and processing this information for your request. Please review our Privacy Policy. Please leave this field blank Please leave this field blank Name Last Name Email Address Phone Number Business Type Number of Employees Business Name Social Media or Website Link I agree to receive free tips on salon management. Subscribe to the Phorest blog for topics on leadership, management and salon success, with insights from the industry's top experts. Please leave this field blank Name Last Name Email Address Number of Employees Business Name I agree to receive free tips on salon management. Please leave this field blank But when the information on the other side of the line is clear, it really lets someone down.Now, since we're talking about voice mail, the standard greetings that are usually embedded in phone companies are so boring and mechanical.Again, "leave a message after the tone" or "you have reached 7 ". best voicemail professional (Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.) Be Part Of Our Story! personal greeting messages for voicemail 3. YouMail Robocall Blocker & Voicemail. YouMail is one amongst the great free visual voicemail app that acts as spammer and robocalls blocker to protect you from unwanted callers. personal voicemail greeting samples Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time. Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings. I might even play my beep for you. how to call straight to voicemail australia You can’t call someone back if you don’t have their number. It seems basic, but it’s easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way. Contact Us 2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours. Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. best voicemail app for android 2021 01Hello this is [your name], I’m either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your details, along with a short message and I’ll get back to you. This is created by individual staff for their specific number or extensions. It’s a great voicemail greeting for work when you are on another line or away from your desk. 3. Thank you for calling GetVoIP, we are currently away due to the holiday, and our office will be closed from Monday the 12th, until Friday the 16th. We apologize for any inconvenience and look forward to serving you once we return. Please feel free to visit our website, GetVoIP.com, to learn more about how we can help. Windstream (Windstream Holdings, Inc., NASDAQ: WIN: $5.52), a premier business network and cloud services provider, has entered into a definitive agreement to purchase Broadview Networks Holdings,... 8. Base Visual Voicemail. Base Visual Voicemail is one of the top-rated voicemail apps till now, developed by Telenet Group. This app was designed with an aim to give you a wonderful experience while checking on voicemails while offering a great range of features to view and manage your calls and voicemails with ease. As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company. OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions. ! funny voicemail greetings in spanish best personal voicemail greeting what to say on your personal voicemail greeting Close Project short funny voicemail greetings examples A good example of a telesales consultant who has either received very poor training or perhaps no training at all. As a sales manager and trainer I do not allow new consultants onto the phones unless they are ready.A great lesson for all sales managers and trainers. What Do You Think About This Voice Message? : Telephone Sales : Selling & Marketing Tips To Increase Sales So I Was Dead | Il Commerciale – The Salesman © Written by Aja Frost @ajavuu A good example of a telesales consultant who has either received very poor training or perhaps no training at all. As a sales manager and trainer I do not allow new consultants onto the phones unless they are ready.A great lesson for all sales managers and trainers. What Do You Think About This Voice Message? : Telephone Sales : Selling & Marketing Tips To Increase Sales So I Was Dead | Il Commerciale – The Salesman © – Hi, I will be studying at the University library till late. Cannot carry my phone inside. Will get back to you as soon as I can. So leave a message after the beep. Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings No ads. Unlimited downloads. Crystal clear audio. Exclusive Pro Rewards. And, there's more. Download the JioSaavn app and claim exclusive rewards worth $25! phone greeting recording voice message samples for business professional personal voicemail greeting script Close Project creative funny voicemail greetings Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues. how to do a cheek kiss greeting I personally don't like voicemail. I don't check messages because my phone identifies missed calls. I know who these people are and why they are calling. I don't want to spend (waste)time hearing nothing of importance. I have left messages saying You can identify yourself with only your first name on a personal cell phone or home voice mail. If it is a business voicemail, I suggest including your first and last name. I would also include your title. Have Energy in Your Voice—When you record your voicemail greeting, make a positive impression. Speak as though you are enjoying a 7. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I’m currently out of the office, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll return your call as soon as I get back. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsAccept If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. how to call straight to voicemail australia what is a visual voice message what is the proper greeting for passover Close Project voice message examples funny Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople. 06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message. Hi, you have reached (phone number) you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. What is your name? 2. What is your phone number? 3. Why did you call this number? Action Adventure alert tone american Animation comedy comic cool Crime Dance drama electronic Fantasy film fun funny gentle horror instrumental music love melody Microsoft Windows Movie MP3 Ringtone music mystery Netflix original piano popular retro romance romantic scary sci fi Series sms soft Soundtrack text tone Thriller tv tv series TV Series 2019 TV Series 2020 How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a… holiday greeting to someone who lost a loved one funny voicemail greetings in spanish good funny voicemail greetings Close Project how to make a voice message clearer “Hi, this is Craig. I waited here as long as I could for your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back with you soon. I know that each day you have a choice of many phone numbers and I appreciate you choosing mine. Have a great day.” 39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. You can’t always get to the phone when clients, partners, investors, or colleagues call you. When this happens, a professional voicemail greeting helps you make a positive impression and tells them what to do next. There are a variety of ways to convey your message. If you’re not sure what type of message to record for your own voicemail box, here’s a definitive guide to get you started. Legal InformationTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyDo Not Sell My Personal InformationCalifornia Privacy Notice Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary Calvin & Hobbes Snowman Cartoons Excerpts from Court Reporters Funny Easter Cartoons UPS Pilot Complaints Funny Computer Cartoons Colorado Barbie New Business Terms Funny Christmas Cartoons Finding Nemo End-of-the-Year Evaluations Asterisk Ian McKellen on Extras – Ricky Gervais More Practical Jokes Beautiful Celebrities Gone Obese Mouse Virus Funny Police Comments Practical Jokes Dove Evolution Spoof Can You Read This Blog Contact Us Home Funny Stuff Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary Calvin & Hobbes Snowman Cartoons Excerpts from Court Reporters Funny Easter Cartoons UPS Pilot Complaints Funny Computer Cartoons Colorado Barbie New Business Terms Funny Christmas Cartoons Finding Nemo End-of-the-Year Evaluations Asterisk Ian McKellen on Extras – Ricky Gervais More Practical Jokes Beautiful Celebrities Gone Obese Mouse Virus Funny Police Comments Practical Jokes Dove Evolution Spoof Can You Read This About Funny Biz Staff Team Blog Contact Us Home Funny Voicemail Messages Posted at 01:35h in Technology by Dave Carlson 0 Comments “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.” Tip: If you’re not sure how to leave a good voicemail, check out the most effective voicemail script ever and how to end a voicemail that keeps the sales conversation open. funny voicemail greetings in spanish funny voicemail notifications how do you greet someone in a call center Close Project funny voicemail greetings mental health hotline 8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back." We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval. No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. If your phone has a Lady Gaga ring-back tone, then I can’t guarantee I’ll wait for you to answer. 5. …I would thank you for calling, but I haven’t heard what you have to say yet. Just kidding! I’ll return your call as soon as possible. Thanks! 6. …If you’re Jennifer Lawrence, call my emergency line. (Insert your celebrity crush Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either. Expect to spend $100-$400 for a voiceover session. (For a lower price point, look at Fiverr, but if you have more room in your budget, check out a voice acting agency.) The average professional studio session from start to finish will take approximately two hours, depending on how many scripts you have to record and how prepared you are. funny voicemail transcriptions greeting in different time zones funny greetings for mothers day Close Project X