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Hi, this is Stephanie's answering machine. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. When you get there, ask them for a cheeseburger. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.)

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9. AT&T Visual Voicemail. With AT&T Visual Voicemail, you get easier access to voicemails. You get visual voicemails straight from your mobile carrier that increases the accuracy of reading the voicemails and removes the need to call from your mail inbox. .

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Company-level calls are usually directed to your general business number. There are occasions when everyone in the office is tied up and unable to pick up calls. It’s important to gather information about the reason for the call so that the right person or team can call them back. These greetings ensure that customers do not feel neglected while also providing assurance that their call will be attended to as soon as possible.
A voicemail greeting is a simple message that plays before callers leave a message. It may play either when you don’t answer or if your phone is off. A professional greeting may encourage people to leave messages, which in turn makes it easier for you to get back in touch. Keeping that communication open and efficient may lead to better business relationships. It also helps you put forth a professional image for your business.

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Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser.

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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.

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    Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.

    Challenges never cease to arise when managing a business. Voicemails are often one of them, as they are rushed or fall under the shadow of more pressing matters. However, a salon voicemail greeting is an unmissable opportunity from a marketing point of view. It is as important as your website, your social media presence or even your logo! It’s part of your shopfront. Make sure it’s working FOR you, not AGAINST you.
    6. (914) 737-9938: Hilarious announcement test. This Westchester County, New York phone line is basically worth dialing for the hilarious message that says "This a CPTA announcement test.

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    It is really important to strike a balance between coming off as too cold, conservative and impersonal with making your message too out there, long or eccentric. If you can create something memorable, it will help engage a caller, or potential client. Go too far off the deep end, and you’ll scare them away

    January 19, Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text.
    Or make them laugh with a funny pre-recorded voice greeting! 3 Best Sites To Download Free Funny Voicemail Messages. Gechlik November 7, 2009 2 minutes. Not only do they have real answering machine messages but they also have other audio files like song parodies and stand up …

  • best voicemail messages for business

    8. We could be in, we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.

    Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
    Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone. 29. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. 30. Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.

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    The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation.

    “Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”
    If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.

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“So I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ‘Hello? It’s Tom, is anyone there?’” Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. “But that’s the joke — it’s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,” Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances.

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Have a positive attitude while recording your voicemail greeting — it will carry through in your voice. If you find it difficult to convey positivity over a phone system, try smiling while you’re recording. (We promise, you will hear a difference.)

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