“Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.
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13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
Professional voicemail greetings for work can be critical for giving your business a good level of credibility. By using one of our ready-made messages, you can save yourself time and impress the other party.
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It is really important to strike a balance between coming off as too cold, conservative and impersonal with making your message too out there, long or eccentric. If you can create something memorable, it will help engage a caller, or potential client. Go too far off the deep end, and you’ll scare them away
I can voice a custom voicemail greeting to fit your corporate, small business, or personal phone. Make your phone greeting stand out to your callers with a professional voiceover for whatever you need said, including prompts for extensions and personalize each line with a name or department.
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HA HA HA! That was my mom's answering machine for most of my high school years!! I Loved it! The A is for... one was my boyfriends when he lived in the dorms but thankfully it's normal now! lol did you hear about the lady who was a big Tom Selleck fan ? she taped a scene from magnum which had his answering mahine on in it and used it for her machine. imagine getting Tom Selleck s voice when you called home. I do think it is kind of creepy to hear a dead person s voice because the survirors can t bear to erase the tape. i totally need to change my answering machine msg and im definately gonna use one of those!! lol those cracked me up!!! - would consider changing my message to the hynosis one. hi, i'm not here right now to talk with you. in the meantime, while you wait for my return, you can strip naked and run around in the streets yelling "buga buga buga". it won't make me respond sooner, but there will be some nice folks wearing white coats who will be happy to talk to you. Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forums > Leisure and Society > Hobbies, Interests & Entertainment > Clean/Christian Jokes > A Whipp Media Site Contact Us Help Home Terms and Christian Forum Rules Privacy Policy
6. Visual Voicemail Plus. Visual Voicemail Plus is a reliable voicemail app offering great customisation options for its users to manage their messages visually.
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16. Hi, you’ve reached [X Business Name]. Our regular business hours are [State opening hours]. If you need to reach someone immediately, please call [contact’s name] at [cell phone number]. If not, leave your name and contact information and a representative will get back to you when we re-open.
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If it is bad news, do not leave the bad news in a voice mail. Good news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and you will be glad to hear all of Fluffy’s testing came back fine. She is good to go until her next appointment.” Bad news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and we have the results of Fluffy’s tests. Please
I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, mostly on top. I like doing it left to right, very slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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2. It should only take 8 seconds to connect me with your phone, and no longer. So if I have to listen to 15 seconds of your crappy music, it means you’ve prolonged the connection process just to expose me to your musical tastes. How dare you.
3. “Ooooooh, its a lady.” If its a lady on the other end, then yell “oooooh its a lady”! That lady will surely get a good laugh.
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“This is Slappy McGee. Leave a brief message, telling me why you’re calling, and what’s in it for me. Unless you’re Boots, then DO NOT leave a message. I’m still trying to get rid of those fleas you gave me. Thanks a lot. Hashtag sarcasm.” 8. Tooth extraction “Did you get the part about the gravy?” Photo by Shutterstock
Which brings me to—an interesting (and kinda hilarious) question from Tim D. I saw recently in response to one of my “Swipe & Deploy” shares. Choose whichever flavor you like…
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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
Typical voicemail greetings usually start with a hi, tell you they are not home, to leave a message, and that they’ll call you back. However, there are people who shook it up a little bit and came up with witty and funny voicemail greetings that are not your norm. If you are looking for a creative way on how to add spice to your boring voicemail greetings and make it a hit, these funniest voicemail greetings will not just make you chuckle, but they will give you cool ideas on what to make on yours. Get ready to laugh as we start the countdown. Share on Facebook
“You have reached the voice mailbox of nine.. one.. eight.. three..” or “Hey, this is (name), leave a message after the beep”, are some boring and typical voice-mail greetings that we generally record on our phone voice mail. But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.
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7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
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No6: (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.
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Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hi, this is _____. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hello, this is _____. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.
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Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits. Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called.
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Magnificent web site. Plenty of useful info here. I am sending it to a few buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks to your effort!
The invention of the smart phone changed the use and perception of telephone calls. Not only did mobile phones make home phones unnecessary for many, but the ability to send and receive text messages or emails on a smart phone made calls themselves feel unnecessary. Even in many workplaces, answering the phone is now either impossible due to nonstop time demands or discouraged by company cultures that prioritize digital communication. Whereas calls once stood out as important and sometimes fun, more people find them time-consuming and frustrating.
“Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. We’re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you’d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.” “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”
Best Top 10 Answering Machine Messages. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold
“Hello, this is Morgan Freeman. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. But if you’re lucky, I might just call ya’ back. Get busy leavin’ your message.”
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That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.
Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.
Mar 14, 2021 - Explore Eric Alexander's board "cell phone humor", followed by 3292 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, phone humor.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
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Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.
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"Hey, what you doin'? Same here. Just Kidding, leave a message and call back. Bye!"
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Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.
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A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems. Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their call Funny Voicemail Greeting
Voicemail: [You can listen to the above video to hear my actual voicemail, and you can also snag the scrip verbatim by simply leaving us a comment below, tell us how you feel about it. 🙂 ]
Dear Fear It S Time We Go Our Separate Ways Moving Forward I Will Block All Contact With You Next Time You Call My New Secret Separate Ways Dear You Call
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14. Hi, you’ve reached [business name]. We can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, the next available team member will return your call as soon as possible.
Caller ID and missed call alerts now serve as their own form of call messaging. People can see who called. They assume they need to contact you. It’s much faster to scroll through a list of incoming callers than to listen to recorded messages. Some people even use audio-to-text transcription options in their cars or from their mobile phones that turn voice messages into notes.
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Employees’ expectations of privacy for the mobile devices they own and use for work don’t match up with reality, according to a survey of 2,997 workers in the U.S., the United Kingdom and
Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
26. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m either on another call, on a top secret mission to Mars, or I’ve just stepped away from my desk for the day. Leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back tomorrow or in about seven months.
Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.
The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net
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Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. I’m sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone …
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.
Damn Daniel. Stop Calling My Girlfriend. Cat Facts. Donald Trump - Join My Cabinet. IRS Tax Extension. Obama Bailout. Stop Calling Me. You're Having a Baby. Stop Calling My Boyfriend. Pizza Order Confirmation. You're Having a Baby Boy.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
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If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
