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But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.

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Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
The rates provided are general rates and provide a guideline as to what your voice over will cost. If you have a budget for your project that doesn’t seem to line up with the rates posted, please don’t just move on to another talent or venue for your voice over work.

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Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .
No42: A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your

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Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. Maybe you could stay and talk. Please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep.

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    "Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."

    For many years, businesses in Fort Worth have relied on voicemail greetings to deliver a professional impression to callers. More recently, the voicemail greeting format has been adapted by businesses to communicate in-person visit information, special offers, and customer feedback.
    Funniest Voice Mail Ever Original Funny Voice mail

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    Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

    21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break 2. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages. 1.
    Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)

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    Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.

    10. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail is yet another great voicemail tool for your android devices for accessing and managing your voicemails.
    8. 605–475–6973: Quit complaining. Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their high-class problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately?

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    Image credit to Far Reach Inc. http://www.farreachinc.com/blog/far-reach/2015/01/08/ho-ho-oh-how-to-create-unforgettable-corporate-holiday-greetings

    However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
    -Hello? Oh hey wait a minute I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you. You want to know why? Because I’m not here right now. So leave a message at the beep.

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The best resumes stand out because of choice of words, not because of qualifications. Everyone who...

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I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.

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“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”

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