You can add the flavor of fun and humor to your telephone calls through the use of funny voice mails and answering machine messages. You can devise some innovative voice mail ideas for your answering machine. Just make sure that you do not hurt the sentiments of your callers in any way.
If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. free custom professional voicemail greetings If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing. It has to be different and contain some kind of style. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP. Thank you for calling 217-2962. Be Part Of Our Story! what are good things to say on a prank call I really liked your script. I am looking for ideas for our ringless voicemail script and this was a great inspiration. funny voicemail greetings to do This script is very well crafted, I love the human feel to it (down to Earth all-around good people) I’m going to tweak mines a little but this will be the base of my 24 hr voice mail Thank you for sharing download funny voicemail greetings We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. Contact Us The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. funny voicemail options 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. Mp3 previews are low resolution the purchased wav files are professional quality the same sound effects used in hundreds of. This video is unavailable. Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages ive put in for you guys. Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn: -Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep- Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99. Singing, Coca-Cola Version. Spice Girls. Having Sex, Ahhh. Marvin The Martian. Mission Impossible 13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away." Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. ! the best voicemail app best voice greeting messages funny greetings for graduation Close Project voicemail funny greetings Too Bad These 10 Biggest NBA Draft Busts Didn’t Deliver as Expected7 Funniest Misheard Lyrics That You Got Wrong TooYou’ll Definitely Laugh at These 7 Funniest Nigger Jokes7 Funniest Wedding Toasts That Will Make Everyone LaughGet to Know the 6 Biggest Yielding Cannabis StrainsThese 12 Funniest Gamertags Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Recent Posts 7 Funny Things That Only People Who Exercise Would Understand 7 Funniest Wedding Toasts That Will Make Everyone Laugh 7 Funniest Misheard Lyrics That You Got Wrong Too 7 Funniest Riddles That Will Make You Think and Laugh 7 Funniest Graduation Speeches You’ll Never Forget Not everyone will observe the same holidays, and not every business or even member of your team will be around at the same time or even days. It is also completely possible that your business will stay open, but adjust operating hours. Either way, recording a personalized holiday greeting for your business can go a long way in improving your customer’s experience. Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message. On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for. Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep. funny voicemail tiktok how to respond a phone call funny call greetings Close Project examples of business voicemail greetings We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system. Join or Sign In Congregational forums are now Christians Only New rule about videos Changes in the Life Stages section Prayer banner Covid-19 Denial (Narrator's voice There Dale sits, reading a magazine.Suddenly the telephone rings! "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. free funny voicemail greetings download However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. 2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays! Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html There are some people who tend to judge your work according to your voicemail greeting. In this article, we tell you what are the best ways to draft your voicemail message. Informal voicemail greetings are those that don’t adhere to the rules of professional and business voicemail greetings. Here, you are free to just leave a simple greeting, or use it to show your more witty side. This style of greetings can be used for both home and business if you like, depending on the type of caller you expect. For instance, a novelty shop could probably create a rather informal message, using sound effects that represent the type of items they sell. short funny voicemail ideas what is the difference between voicemail and voice message funny greetings for tinder Close Project funny voicemail greetings download Tags:Best Healthcare Software Providers In India Clinic Management Doctor Appointment Software Document Automation Document Management System examples Greeting Healthcare Marketing Agency For Doctors Healthcare Professional Marketing Hospital Management IT Healthcare Software Company In Indore Medical Practice Management For Doctors Online business consultancy Perfect pursho Purshology Record Saas Company In India SAAS Company In Indore Software consultant Technology Consultant Top Healthcare Software Firms In India Voicemail Previous Post Working Remotely? 3 Things To Consider When Running A Home-Based Call Centre Next Post 10 Dental Marketing Ideas to Get Prospects to Call You How to Create a Meta Tag for My Website: A Step-by-Step Guide 5 tips for easy, impactful corporate gifting in 2021 Ready Business Case Study: Discover how MPLS Technology boost sales by 40% Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. You should script out your greetings, rehearse, and find a tone of voice that is reflective of your professionalism and your company’s personality. If applicable, your tone and your message should take into account that certain industries and companies are more conservative than others. Samsung T105 Pre Paid Cell Phone For Tracfone Black 9 99 Samsung Samsung Phone Cases Phone Cases Car I am willing to bet that every man and woman on that subway went and told their friends about that experience. The same idea goes for a voicemail greeting. If you come up with a funny and memorable voicemail greeting, people will share their experience with their friends and family, further enhancing your word of mouth. Open World RPG ‘Botworld Adventure’ from the Makers of ‘Rodeo Stampede’ Finally Has a Confirmed Global Release Date for iOS and Android how to create a personal voicemail greeting personal phone greeting message sample funny voicemail phone numbers Close Project free prerecorded professional voicemail greetings Apartment Video Intercom 20 Room Entry System Intercom Room Extensions Door Strikes Well, I didn't see it. Can't imagine I'm the only one. Many of us don't live online. Reply Closed Thread Share Facebook Twitter Reddit Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information - Join the Most-Read Etiquette, Soft Skills, and Interpersonal Communications Blog in the United States! FREE Five-Day Challenge LEARN THE 25 HABITS OF A REMARKABLY CLASSY PERSON. Count Me In! I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home. You can find out more about which cookies we are using or switch them off in settings. Change cookie settings Privacy Overview Strictly Necessary Cookies 3rd Party Cookies Cookie Policy 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow. how to greet in call center how to save voice message whatsapp iphone personal voicemail greeting script Close Project how do you greet a customer on a call This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3. 5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. 7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. funny voicemail options voice message examples funny funny call center greetings Close Project X