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Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your voicemail message.

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31. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’ll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!
If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the … .

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Whether it’s an out-of-stock product, a canceled event, or social media snafu, there are times when your business may see an influx of frustrated callers. While it is important to address their concerns head-on, you may not be able to answer each call as it’s received. Make sure you use best practices for dealing with angry customers, and that your voicemail greeting sets the appropriate tone. Avoid defensive language, validate their concerns, and keep them informed as to how you are handling the situation.
14. Hi, you’ve reached [business name]. We can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, the next available team member will return your call as soon as possible.

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Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help.

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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.

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    Motorola Unlock. Mobile Playground. Fun Exchange Forum. Purple Leopard. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.

    “Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
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    4. Funny Voicemail Greetings. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are busy trying to save the world by [what your company does best]. If you want to learn more about how we do it, please leave us your name and phone number, and we will get back to you as soon as our mission is complete— which should be fairly soon.

    And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail.
    Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges.

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    6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."

    04You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Our representatives are all currently engaged. If you leave us a message with your name and number, we will get back to you in the earliest possible time. Thank you for calling and have a good day. Lines can often get busy for companies that have several representatives. This reassures clients that someone will get back to them once they are free.
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    4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address].

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    09Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.

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4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.

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Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes

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Going Green. Saving Money. Getting Tech Savvy. These are some of the many reasons why businesses choose to send eGreeting cards in lieu of traditional paper cards. If you are considering sending an eGreeting card this year, follow these steps to make it the best it can be: Business and Personal Professional Voicemails October 28, 2011 Katie Devlin resources, tips, greetings

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but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'.

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