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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."

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best funny voicemail greetings

I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever!
The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net

funny business voicemail greetings

Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
If you're looking to go all out to give the best possible first impression to your customers, hire a professional voice actor. Our customers love the voices available on Fiverr, a website that matches businesses with creative talent. You can get a professional recording done for as little as $5. If you're looking for a high-end product, check out The Voice Realm which offers the best voice talent on the planet. The quality is astounding.

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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.

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personal voicemail greeting for home phone

Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

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    10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.

    Action Adventure alert tone american Animation comedy comic cool Crime Dance drama electronic Fantasy film fun funny gentle horror instrumental music love melody Microsoft Windows Movie MP3 Ringtone music mystery Netflix original piano popular retro romance romantic scary sci fi Series sms soft Soundtrack text tone Thriller tv tv series TV Series 2019 TV Series 2020
    I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.

  • common professional voicemail greetings

    Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.

    Hi, This is Jenny. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else. (4's Will be automatically deleted.)
    No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

  • short business voicemail greetings

    8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.

    Along the way, voice mail usage also suffered significant drops. People not only stopped leaving voice mail messages, they stopped listening to voice mail messages received. In 2012 Vonage, a voice over Internet Protocol (IP) carrier, tracked an 8 percent drop in voice mails left for users. Even worse, Vonage saw a 14 percent drop in people even bothering to listen to voice mail messages others left for them. The company has not released updated stats, but I’d assume the decline continues five years later.
    Website: https://www.shrm.org/ResourcesAndTools/hr-topics/technology/Pages/Personal-Cellphone-Privacy-at-Work.aspx

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    It makes sense to have an after-hours / weekend voicemail greeting for important teams at your business so that your clients feel confident that they will be taken care of. You may also suggest alternate resources like a help forum, knowledge base, or online chat to support customers while closed, if available.

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    1. Business voicemail greeting samples. If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers.

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And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. Step 2 Record a message using a friend who speaks in a deep, low, creepy voice and says "[your name] can't come to the phone.

funny voicemail greetings for your phone

5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.

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Now moving into the second paragraph, me and my wife and my partner James, our local Memphians, there's a reason that I refer to my wife. No, she's not involved in our house buying business actively.

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