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No22: Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
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Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
I totally get it… I've been there, and always appreciate finding an “easy button” or shortcut myself. If it'll save me (i) time, (ii) pain or (iii) the trial-and-error of making or finding it myself, then I'm in.
No25: Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."
If you started your company more than a year ago, it’s probably time to change your voicemail script. Your recording should match the brand, tone, and voice of your company — just as though a caller were speaking to a member of your team.
Woman Breaks Down How To Shut Down Men Asking For Your Number With Fake Voicemail - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails
“This is Slappy McGee. Leave a brief message, telling me why you’re calling, and what’s in it for me. Unless you’re Boots, then DO NOT leave a message. I’m still trying to get rid of those fleas you gave me. Thanks a lot. Hashtag sarcasm.” 8. Tooth extraction “Did you get the part about the gravy?” Photo by Shutterstock
11. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]’s cell phone. I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.
Hello. You have reached [Name]. I apologize for not being able to answer your call at the moment. However, if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I’ll make sure to contact you when I return.
1. Personal Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello! You’ve reached (insert company name.) This is (insert name) in the (insert department.) My apologizes for not being available to take your call, but I’m on the line helping another customer (insert business’s most attractive result or purpose point.)
3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.
10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.