Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
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Voicemail: [You can listen to the above video to hear my actual voicemail, and you can also snag the scrip verbatim by simply leaving us a comment below, tell us how you feel about it. š ]
Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.
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This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today. This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today.
Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul ā it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.
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After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server.
Your voicemail greeting is the first introduction to your office ā what kind of impression do you want to leave?
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How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this.
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Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seekā¦. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
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Zombies doing whatever zombies do when they are feeling exultant and joyous...about brains. eerie spooky horror dreamlike Halloween uneasy strange distant ambient haunted abandoned - mp3 version abandoned - ogg version abandoned - waveform abandoned - spectrogram 59521.1
Again, āsell to meā, āfeel comfortableā. I want their subconscious to hear me say, speaking of which, I found a lot of sellers who reached out to us are just wondering when we're going to try and pull the wool over their eyes or whether the up to something scammy, so I like to just drop in indications that we understand that they're a little nervous about this and the whole transaction is going to be handled by a licensed attorney and a local title company, no kitchen table closings, so everything is being done above board.
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Holiday Voicemail Script Sample. Thank you for calling ABC Company. We are currently closed for the holiday. Our normal business hours are 8 am to 8 pm, eastern time, Monday through Friday. Your call is very important to us. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message regarding your ā¦
No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, Iām out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.
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A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.
If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Hello, this is Death.
Caller ID and missed call alerts now serve as their own form of call messaging. People can see who called. They assume they need to contact you. Itās much faster to scroll through a list of incoming callers than to listen to recorded messages. Some people even use audio-to-text transcription options in their cars or from their mobile phones that turn voice messages into notes.
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Hi there! Youāve reached the domicile of Blackmore Enterprises [Horn Honk]. Weāre sorry to have missed your call, but thereās only so many hours in the day where one has the chance to gut a zombie, or nail a corpse to a tree. As such, please leave your name, contact information, and message, and weāll try to get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks much for your call. Leave your personal name or business name Say youāre sorry you missed the call Ask them to leave their contact information and message Thank them for their call
22. Hello, this is [your name]. Iām currently away from my phone. I return calls on Tuesday and Friday at 10 a.m. Please leave a detailed message including your name and a callback number and Iāll get back to you as soon as I can.
8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.
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17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but Iāll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and Iāll get back to you as quickly as possible.
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You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith.
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Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality?
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The point of a voicemail greeting is to encourage your callers to leave a message. More often than not, and this is becoming more evident every day, people are just hanging up and assuming the receiver will call back. On the other hand, funny voicemail greetings keep people on the phone longer. Given that you have already captured their attention and they have taken the time to listen to your greeting, they are certainly going to leave a message. This will not only remind you to return the call, but it also shows their interest in completing the home improvement project.
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#3 āHey this is Bryan, Iād tell you what to do at the beep, but Iām pretty sure you already know what to do. So yeah, just do it.ā
That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.
Itās the way that people contact you when you are busy with other clients or customers, and cannot get to the phone. It is often the customers or clients first impression of your business or brand, you need to leave a great impression. The worst thing is for a first time caller, or even a returning customer, to get a short blurb like āLeave a message iāll call you backā. Or, just a beep after the ring.
Voicemails donāt necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, youāve got to put a little bit of āyouā when it comes to voicemail.
These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. Theyāre highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an important update in a simple, straightforward way.
Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, youāve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (āPress 1 forā¦, Press 2 forā¦), or simply explaining why the call isnāt available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep!
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For example, a voice mail message appointment reminder call might say the following: āMs. Smith, Fluffyās next veterinary appointment at [name of practice] is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please respond to the email we are sending you now to confirm the appointment.ā
Company-level calls are usually directed to your general business number. There are occasions when everyone in the office is tied up and unable to pick up calls. Itās important to gather information about the reason for the call so that the right person or team can call them back. These greetings ensure that customers do not feel neglected while also providing assurance that their call will be attended to as soon as possible.
What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.
1. 911, whatās your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just donāt let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
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Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morganās voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.
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"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."
Also, during your script video, you stated that your postcard mentions that the seller's initial call will only be answered by an automated service, but on the āHere's one of Our Favorite Postcardsā screenshot, the actual verbage is, āCall [this number] and I'll be happy to talk with you. If I'm out, please leave a message and I will call you shortly.ā [no mention as to why you'd call anybody āshortlyā, but that's prolly not the hill i wanna die on right now].
If youāre an entrepreneur or small business owner whoās debating the benefits of getting a voicemail greeting, keep reading!
Home Ā» Funny Voicemail Quotes & Sayings
#8 āHey this is Bryan, sorry that I couldnāt make it to my phone in time or that Iām on the other line. Iāll get back to you when I can. Unless the reason i didnāt pick up was because I was just in an accident or dropped my phone in the toilet. Then you might never hear from me. But trust me, there is a good reason Iām not picking up. Leave a message!ā
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Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
All in all, when you create an unexpected experience, people not only remember it, but also talk about it.
A funny voicemail greetingĀ is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings
Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for oneā¦ What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard? Is it an interactive automated service, or just a āplease provide the following information and someone will contact you shortlyā kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazyā¦ š
7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.
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A special high five to Margot Howard for her outstanding research and contributions to this article. We love working with and supporting like-minded entrepreneurs who are passionate about business success strategies. Thank you Margot! ā¤ļø
This is name speaking. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. So how about an early birthday present? These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
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4.Ā Hi, this is [your name]. Iām unable to take your call right now but leave your name and number, and Iāll get back to you as soon as possible.
7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.
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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Free Wav Sound Effects. Wav Sounds is a family friendly website that offers a good roundup of free
Short and Creative Voicemail Greetings for Professional Businesses. 1. Hi this is [your name], Iām either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and Iāll be sure to get back to you. 2. Iām sorry, but Iām momentarily tied up.
We have added expanded forums for the new strategy games Humankind and Old World. Civilization's 30th Birthday Contest: Give Civ a Present, Get One Back! New Forums for Humankind and Old World 100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard Page 1 of 9 1 ā 2 3 4 5 6 ā 9 Next > Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 45 Location: at my house Lets try to put 100 of the funniest thigs you can put on your answering machine. I can't think of any thing so somebody else start off, and links to web sites are ok. Chain n' Axe, May 22, 2003 Joined: Apr 10, 2003 Messages: 359 Location: Here " OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN! PLEASE PUT IT DOWN! BOOM!!!" *beep*
ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you).
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky āgreeting cardā waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings
