“Hi, this is Ralph. You’re getting this message because I’m probably sleeping. Leave your message at the tone and maybe I’ll call you back when I’m awake. If this is about anything food-related, please press 411 and your call will be rerouted to the dog, who will immediately wake me up to take your call. Do not use 411 because you want to tell me you lost a whisker or your human changed cat litter brands on you. I don’t care. Food only! And anyway, why aren’t YOU sleeping? Weirdo.”
And also to walk you through some of the nuances and Jedi mind tricks inside…and how it solidly prescreens & elegantly sets the stage for having solid conversations with the right people.
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Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.
No2: Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)
Classic dad move: Boyfriend's dad left a (phone) message to make sure we got his email. Related Keywords answering machine punsprivate branch exchange punspager punsemail punslandline punstelephone punstelephony punsvonage punscell phone punsmailbox punsmessaging punsintercom punsfaxes punsanswering punscellphone punsmessages punsbeeper punsgmail punspaging punsswitchboard puns
This all happened a few years but we’d somehow never heard it before until the voicemail started doing the rounds on Twitter again recently. Have a listen to it in full here. 14 things we learned from Ladybird books> 9 tiny things that drive you completely MAD> Mark Farrelly [email protected] Send a Correction 600px wide 400px wide 300px wide Email “Amazing voicemail describes old ladies beating man with umbrella”. Please select the reason for reporting this comment. Please select your reason for reporting... It contains offensive language, is hateful or incites violence It contains a libellous/defamatory statement Some other reason... Please give full details of the problem with the comment... ∞ About Us About Us We're Hiring! Contact Us Advertise With Us The Journal FactCheck Follow Us Twitter Facebook Corrections Report Content Policies Terms of Use Cookies & Privacy Advertising Comments Copyright Competition Content copyright © Journal Media Ltd. 2021 Registered in Dublin, registration number: 483623. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. TheJournal.ie supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. You can obtain a copy of the Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.americanvoicemail.com/articles/10-must-haves-of-professional-voicemail-for-real-estate/
No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.
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I really liked your script. I am looking for ideas for our ringless voicemail script and this was a great inspiration.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...
Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.
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-Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is in working order. If you were expecting an error, please hang up and try another number.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address].