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17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
If you choose to do this, make sure you develop a discipline. If you say you return calls within 2 hours, it needs to be 2 hours. Delivering on what you promise is what’s going to make your customer service stand out when it comes to busy times and people reaching your voicemail. .

personal voicemail greeting generator

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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

funny greetings on phone

While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude. Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.
25. "Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We're closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll give you a call when we're back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great day."

funny voicemail scripts

A clever, witty voicemail message can be short or long, complex or simple, as long as it is entertaining. Using famous lines from TV shows or movies is a great place to start. There is a lot of creative wordplay that you can use based on famous lines from classics like The Twilight Zone. For instance, you could say, "Hello, you've reached the Twilight Phone, where every message is sent into another dimension. To receive an interdimensional call, just leave your name and number, and I'll call you from the closest parallel universe."

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  • professional voicemail greetings download

    Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.

    After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
    5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

  • greeting without time

    05You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Unfortunately, we are currently closed. We are usually open between [hours] [days] and closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your details and we will get back to you when the office opens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for other options. Thank you for your call. This after-hours voicemail greeting lets callers know how to do business or communicate with you outside normal business hours. You may also like 6 How to Ask for a Raise Email Templates to Get Your Point Across

    Crafting the perfect voicemail greeting is not as easy as it may seem at first glance, depending on the type of greeting: Business, funny, professional, formal, and informal, you need. Below, we’ve included some tips in creating the perfect voicemail greeting. Go over them, then when you complete your final voicemail script, revisit these tips again to make certain you’ve covered all the bases.
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  • best professional voicemail greetings

    How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….

    Always keep in mind the people who will be listening to your professional voicemail greetings. What type of tone and information resonates with them?
    Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

  • professional personal voicemail greeting

    Website: https://www.reference.com/world-view/examples-professional-voicemail-greeting-93942ec15af9e87a

    It is extremely stunning when a gathering of individuals talk about and read about some unique thing like helpful link about Jane Austen's books et cetera and it will assist them with knowing about it more
    You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.

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You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"

best personal voicemail greeting

Listing Results Funny Voicemails For Cell Phones Total 47 Results Webmail Member login Email finder

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Laugh as you watch how Mr. Neeson’s fan got him to record a custom voicemail greeting here.

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