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Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me.

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This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]. .

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Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .
“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”

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Then, the email would say: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next appointment is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please click to reply/confirm this appointment at [name of practice]. If we do not hear from you in the next five business days, this slot may be given away. Thank you.” "Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not."
C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!

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Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes.

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answering machine. noun. an electronic device that is attached to a telephone and that automatically answers callers with a prerecorded message and records their messages for later playback. Nearby words. Origin of answering machine. Also called telephone answering machine.

  • sample professional voicemail greetings

    1. HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.

    Answering message 259. Search for jokes by keyword. Also see. Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages. Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages.
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    I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.

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    This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.

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    8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.

    Open the Phone app on your iPhone. Find and tap the icon on your home screen to open Phone. 2. Tap the Voicemail tab. You can find this button in the lower-right corner of your screen. It will open a list of all your recent voicemail messages. 3. Tap the voicemail you want to download.
    6. After listening to each message, decide what you want to do with it. The most recent voicemail message that you've received should start playing. When it finishes, you will be given some choices about what you want to do with the message.

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    Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.

    No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
    No35: (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!

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3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."

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No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

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Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

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4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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