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Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

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Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1.
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you. .

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Christian Ideas for Voice Mail Messages. You can put a Christian spin on your voice mail message by quoting Scripture or by using a traditional blessing. The person who's trying to call you can be uplifted by your voice and his day will be spiritually enriched. If your voice mail is only for personal calls, you can inject some Biblical humor
I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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Communicating with clients, customers, and colleagues--whether in the office or across the globe--has never been easier, faster, or more affordable. Nowadays, businesses have a lot of options at... Home Press | About | Contact | Advertise | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy Site Map

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Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.

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    You can identify yourself with only your first name on a personal cell phone or home voice mail. If it is a business voicemail, I suggest including your first and last name. I would also include your title. Have Energy in Your Voice—When you record your voicemail greeting, make a positive impression. Speak as though you are enjoying a

    Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.
    And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:

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    – Hi, I will be studying at the University library till late. Cannot carry my phone inside. Will get back to you as soon as I can. So leave a message after the beep.

    2. Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
    All in all, when you create an unexpected experience, people not only remember it, but also talk about it.

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    We love to hear your comments about this post. Please leave a comment below, and let me know what you think!

    For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.
    Good day, you have reached the office of [Name]. I’m away for the weekend. If you require my immediate assistance, please call 555-555-2345. Otherwise, if this is a casual call, please leave your name, number and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you on Monday.

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    #2 “Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message at the beep. Like you needed me to tell you that, right? I mean, how many times have you done this? You already know what to do.”

    Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything.
    2. The Mystery. A mysterious voicemail leaves the listener wondering what the call is about and plays to our fear of loss and FOMO. What if something’s wrong w/ my account?

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20 Clean and Funny Answering Machine Messages [Perfect One's] Answering Machine Messages are here to Give you the Clean, Funny and Joyfull Recorded Voicemail Greetings for Your Professional Business. If the person (answering machine messages for telemarketers) does not answer a call within the certain number of rings.

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But when the information on the other side of the line is clear, it really lets someone down.Now, since we're talking about voice mail, the standard greetings that are usually embedded in phone companies are so boring and mechanical.Again, "leave a message after the tone" or "you have reached 7 ".

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