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Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!

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“You know what I hate about voice-mail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why, I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. Bye!”
Another way to make up funny voicemail messages is to act like a device has come alive. For instance, you could say,"Hello, I'm Bob's hair dryer, and I've taken over because I'm way more interesting. If you'd like to leave a message for him and have your hair dried at the same time, just hold up the phone." Answering like an answering machine, a microwave, or refrigerator and using the functions of that device in the answer are easy ways to create a fun voicemail. .

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33. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We’re currently closed to celebrate [X holiday], but we’ll be back on [X date]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message so our team can get back to you when we return.
9. “HELLO, OH No, the voices are back again!” This made me laugh too. Imagine how your fellow caller will laugh! Again, only your friends or people in other close circles will get you; otherwise, it is not a very friendly way to answer the phone call.

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A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.

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Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.

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    Which brings me to—an interesting (and kinda hilarious) question from Tim D. I saw recently in response to one of my “Swipe & Deploy” shares. Choose whichever flavor you like…

    Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
    Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!

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    Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

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    Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!

    This is an audio test. Please listen carefully. Raise your hand when you hear the tone and state which ear it comes from.
    30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.

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    In the end, it’ll be down to you or your team to record and customize their own personal greeting. Depending on the overall culture and identity of your business, it might make sense to engage customers with a friendlier, warm and fun holiday greeting – while others might benefit more from clean cut, down to business explanations of schedule changes. , to get you started, here are a few quick templates to build off of. Feel free to tailor, change, customize or completely start from scratch! These could of course be used for your own individual office greeting, or your entire company’s greeting.

    You need to portray a sense of confidence, authority, and respect. If you would like to leave a voicemail message for an inmate, you must first have a Prepaid Account. I was trying to put together the puzzle of my life and realized there's a piece missing - you.
    5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

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I find myself the most inspired when listening to soft upbeat music, and this morning the tune was one of the most recent Mac Miller tracks. This might seem irrelevant right just now, but some of the lyrics were amazingly applicable to the danger of using a salon voicemail as your receptionist.

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Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!

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No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.

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Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:

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