A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….
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And also to walk you through some of the nuances and Jedi mind tricks inside…and how it solidly prescreens & elegantly sets the stage for having solid conversations with the right people.
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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!
From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.
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10 Voicemail Greeting Scripts. Now that you know the principles of our voicemail greeting philosophy, it is time to take a closer look at some standard and best-practice examples you can use for your business. Not all of these example scripts serve the same purpose.
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
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No49: This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES.
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"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it." Lord_all_Mighty, May 22, 2003 Joined: Oct 20, 2002 Messages: 1,506 Location: Too close to Victoria You have reached the home of Tarzan. Sorry i can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message after the AAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHHH Bose, May 23, 2003 Joined: May 16, 2003 Messages: 352 Location: Poland, Warsaw -Robert, answer the phone! Oops, I am Robert! But I'm away now. See? You have to record a message... -You have just reached Browns. We're arguing right now. Record a message: when we'll finish, the one that didn't move out to his/her mother will call you. -Hello, here's Iraq Army HQ. We are out because we want to conquer the USA. When Yankees will kick our butts again, we'll call you.
These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.
Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
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8. Base Visual Voicemail. Base Visual Voicemail is one of the top-rated voicemail apps till now, developed by Telenet Group. This app was designed with an aim to give you a wonderful experience while checking on voicemails while offering a great range of features to view and manage your calls and voicemails with ease.
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!
Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages […]
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10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.
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Unfortunately, sometimes things get too busy in the salon for it to be possible to have a staff member only on reception duty. As a result, you rely on a salon voicemail greeting to do the job. But is it doing the job?
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Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium Hello Select your address Account & Lists Returns & Orders Best Sellers Prime Customer Service New Releases Today's Deals Pharmacy Books Fashion Registry Toys & Games Kindle Books Gift Cards Amazon Home Sell Computers Automotive Coupons Home Improvement Shopper Toolkit Video Games Smart Home Find a Gift Beauty & Personal Care Health & Household Amazon Basics Pet Supplies TV & Video Handmade Baby Disability Customer Support Amazon Music Unlimited Amazon Music HD Amazon Music Prime Free Streaming Music Buy Music Open Web Player Settings Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. To enjoy Prime Music, go to Your Music Library and transfer your account to Amazon.com (US). After Hours You're Hosed 0:7 $0.99 After Hours You're out of Luck 0:11 $0.99 All Lines Busy Wait Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Answered It's Not Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Attention....Never Mind 0:6 $0.99 Attention....We Forgot 0:7 $0.99 Automated Answer If We Had More Money 0:8 $0.99 Baggage Search and Good Stuff Taken 0:9 $0.99 Biz Hours Whenever 0:5 $0.99 Call Back When You Know What You're Talking About 0:4 $0.99 Complaint Dept Hang Up 0:4 $0.99 Emergency Talking Faster 0:4 $0.99 Exit Stop Pushing and Shoving 0:4 $0.99 For Legal Evidence Call Will Be Recorded 0:7 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready or Get It Together 0:5 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready 0:4 $0.99 In Emergency Kiss Your Ass Goodbye 0:6 $0.99 Last One Please Turn out Lights 0:3 $0.99 Leave Tray Tables Down 0:7 $0.99 People Cutting in Line Thrown Out 0:4 $0.99 Pick up You Guns and Exit 0:3 $0.99 Please Keep Asking for Help 0:4 $0.99 Please Never Call Again 0:3 $0.99 Please Welcome a Real Loser 0:5 $0.99 Reached Number in Error Pay Attention.Wav 0:4 $0.99 Service Is Just a Word 0:6 $0.99 Someone May Be on the Line Shortly 0:7 $0.99 Sorry Lights on No One Home 0:4 $0.99 Speak With Someone Who Knows 0:5 $0.99 To Reach Compulsive Disorder Dept 0:4 $0.99 Un-Attended Bag....Take It 0:5 $0.99 Un-Attended Bags Taken and Put on Ebay 0:10 $0.99 Un-Attended Children Given Caffiene and Puppy 0:8 $0.99 Water Landing Seat Cushion 0:8 $0.99 We Will Get to Your Call When We Feel Like It 0:6 $0.99 You Will Never Be Connected to a Live Person 0:6 $0.99 Your Call Is Important Not 0:7 $0.99 Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC. Additional taxes may apply. By placing your order, you agree to our Terms of Use.
Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.
Funny Voicemail Messages That’ll Tickle Your Callers’ Funny Bone. There is plenty of room for being creative. You can always modify and personalize voicemail messages depending on your sense of humor. Keep it light and simple! • As long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
Well, I didn't see it. Can't imagine I'm the only one. Many of us don't live online. Reply Closed Thread Share Facebook Twitter Reddit Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -
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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
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Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
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Get a Professional sounding personal voicemail for your cell or home phone. I can voice the greeting, and then with your info I can place it on your phone or system. When your business is on your own personal cell phone, you need to sound professional when you can’t get to the phone
A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).
Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.Poly Ringtones. Java Games. Video Clips. Colour Backgrounds. LG Remote Unlocking. Motorola Remote Unlocking.
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Free Logos For All Phones. Free Picture Messages. Free Animated Screensavers. Free Mobile Software Downloads. SonyEricsson T Free Stuff. Siemens Free Stuff. Free Poly Ringtones. Unlocking Mobiles. Unlocking Cell Phones. Motorola Unlock. Mobile Playground. Fun Exchange Forum. Purple Leopard. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.
Wizard of Ads™ Partner, Mick Torbay, has a solution for those times when you just can’t make it to the phone, but want to keep your customer thinking and feeling positive about you. Mick writes and records magical outgoing phone messages. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-June-2021.mp3
The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!
Custom Voicemail Greetings: Our pre-recorded on hold messages are available in 9 languages spoken by native speakers. We custom produce highest quality voicemail messages, IVR messages, on hold messages and announcements based on your individual scripts in multiple languages. We are looking forward to your call.
You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
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Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for calling and I will call you back as soon as I’m back. Thanks for calling!”
“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”
It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun.
Voicemail Script #7: The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end. Here’s an example of a sales voicemail script with a …
Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
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How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….
Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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To get a better experience, go to one of these sites and get the latest version of your preferred browser: Setup Professional Voicemail Greetings on iPhone With Examples: Personal, Business and Busy
These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you?
I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'
His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Just kidding.
Fiverr is a popular freelance service anyone can use to get creative work — in this case, a personalized voicemail greeting. On Fiverr, you first check out the freelancer’s work samples to evaluate whether they’re a good fit for your company. We recommend reading feedback and reviews on various creatives, contacting potential freelancers with any questions you have, and browsing through various package options.
5. The Serious Greeting. I’m going into hibernation for a few months. For more updates, check my Facebook page. Hello, to reach the person you are calling, please say the password.
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Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
The voicemail function allows the caller to leave a message in case you are busy. It informs the caller of your status and assures that the message will be heard. For instance, good voicemail greetings at corporate firms create a pleasant impression on the caller’s mind or a hilarious voicemail can make someone’s day. Parents can be assured that an urgent message will be delivered once you get access to your phone.
Voice Spice is a free online voice recorder and message sharing site. You can record a message, morph your voice, then share your it with others via Facebook, Twitter, Gmail and more!
10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.
6. Pre-Recorded Message Playback. The Perfect Single Businessperson Solution. One Mailbox That Can Transfer Your Callers To Any Phone Of Yours, As Well As Voicemail And Fax To Email.
In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.