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Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.

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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
Hi, I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. .

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“Hi. This is (name). If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. Bye!”
If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

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Don’t leave customers and colleagues on edge. If you say you’re going to call them back, follow up. If you tend to fall behind in this area, encourage them to email you or reach out in another way. Better yet, learn how to forward voicemail to email so you can access the message anywhere.
But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail greetings simple. MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses. With simple, visually-based call flows, adapting your voicemail messages for different seasons, customers, and even different times of day demands no tech knowledge

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How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!

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Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

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    I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.

    -Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. BOOM! (not followed by a beep)
    1. If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

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    2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

    While listening to Jimmy’s voicemail our hearts raced as we heard of how the man lay on the ground, apparently unable to get up as they continued to knock ten lumps of chocolate out of him.
    Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller.

  • professional personal voicemail greeting script

    Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

    These words are lovely dark and deep, But I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. So leave a message at the beep.
    11. "Hi, you've reached [company]. Unfortunately, we're currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP."

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    Listing Results Fun Voicemail Scripts 48 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service

    You can’t call someone back if you don’t have their number. It seems basic, but it’s easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way.
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3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. What's the funniest/coolest/cleverest/favorite Answering Machine/Voicemail/Answerphone Messages you've heard, or even done yourself? In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did...

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Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.

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