2. It should only take 8 seconds to connect me with your phone, and no longer. So if I have to listen to 15 seconds of your crappy music, it means you’ve prolonged the connection process just to expose me to your musical tastes. How dare you.
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.
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Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)
Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5...4...3...2...1...
"Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time.
Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.
Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for calling and I will call you back as soon as I’m back. Thanks for calling!”
42. Hi, you’ve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.
>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold
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Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)
– Hello. You have reached Tim’s office. I cannot answer the phone right now but I will return your call as soon as possible. Please leave a message if it is urgent or you can call my secretary on the extension (number). If this call is regarding a query, you can logon on to our website (website’s name) and leave a message.
Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
While listening to Jimmy’s voicemail our hearts raced as we heard of how the man lay on the ground, apparently unable to get up as they continued to knock ten lumps of chocolate out of him.