(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.
The hiring manager loved your error-free application, and really liked the initiative you showed when you came in to follow up on your application. They have a really good feeling about you and are looking forward to having you come in to interview for the position. There’s even talk about hiring you on the spot! So, the manger dials your number and…ring….ring….ring…”We’re sorry, the voicemail box you are trying to reach is full. Please try again later.” The manager starts to think that you aren’t taking this very seriously and moves on to the rest of the applications, as there isn’t any time to waste with this job needing to be filled quickly.
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Wizard of Ads™ Partner, Mick Torbay, has a solution for those times when you just can’t make it to the phone, but want to keep your customer thinking and feeling positive about you. Mick writes and records magical outgoing phone messages. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-June-2021.mp3
Acces PDF Telephone Answering Machine Messages 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break The telephone answering device is slightly different from the concept of voicemail, given that voicemail represents a centralized and networked
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5. “GRANDPA! YOU ARE ALIVE!” The Wattpad rated this phrase as the funniest way to answer the phone on its website. Suppose if you get a call from your introvert friend, squeal happily as soon as he says hello.
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7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
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2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it's not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day."
This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?
3. Funny Examples of Voicemail Messages. These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, please leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.
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Next, tell him the name of the company you work at. Something along the lines of, "John this is Mark at Pinnacle."
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….
Home » Lists » 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages
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God's Voice mail lol Jesus's Voice mail
40. Hi, I’m not in right now, but if you leave a detailed message I’ll call you back promptly.
Jan, professional voicemail greeting examples. hi thanks for calling company name. please leave a brief message and we will get back to you Good personal voicemail greeting examples. john smith wants to leave a friendly, short message which gives all necessary details and asks clearly for the info hell need to return the call.
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As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company.
Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.
"Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."
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"SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."
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7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
Is there another postcard to which you were referring in the script video that DOES say that the seller will NOT talk to a real person at first? I'm just a little bit confused about the discrepancy there. But, like I said, I am battling pneumonia so i'm prolly not braining well today. Hard for me to know really.
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Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.
1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I am currently away from my desk. Please leave your complete name, contact number and short message after beep and I will be sure to get back to you the time I am available. 2. Good morning. You have reached (company name or office name) of (name).
Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.
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We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
It offers FREE voice mail greetings for the different people that call your cell phone. It's called youmail. This youmail service can replace your cellular voicemail with a supposedly better voice mail system that includes a set of cool and different features such as different personalized greetings for each caller, online and phonebased
9. Queue Callback Message. What the caller hears when they request a callback from the queue. Sample Scripts: “You have requested to have the next available agent call you back from the queue.
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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we're done shopping.
Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time. Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings. I might even play my beep for you.
Follow Us: Some examples of professional voicemail greetings are the basic greeting, the out-of-office greeting, the time-sensitive greeting and the additional information greeting. A basic greeting is simple, standard and to the point. Here's an example using fictional personal information: "Hi, this is Adam Gordon, Senior Vice President at
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Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.
Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …
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Answering message 259. Search for jokes by keyword. Also see. Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages. Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages.
My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
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7.) End on a high note! You don’t necessarily need to say “Goodbye” at the end of a voicemail, because you didn’t really talk to anyone. Instead, try something like, “Look forward to chatting with you!” Use the word “with” instead of “to.” It sounds less like the person is going to receive a parental or boss “talking to” and more like two people who are eager to connect with one another on the phone. It’s a subtle difference, yet it’s a gracious one!
"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."
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A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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“Hey there, this is [name]. You’ve reached [XYZ company]. Unfortunately, I’m currently away from the office and am traveling in [place]. I won’t be back in the office until [date] and I will get in touch with you then.
Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges.
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1. HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.
When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.
