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personal voicemail greeting messages
Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.
1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
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To whom it may concern. You’ve tried to reach Wilbur and Ed. We aren’t here at the moment, but if you want, you can leave your contact information at the tone and one of the brood will get to you shortly. Take care, thanks for the call.
No32: (Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did you say you live?
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If you’re ready to go the professional direction, congratulations! Here are some websites you can use to hire a service to record your greeting.
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It’s imperative for any business owner and/or entrepreneur to have a professional, snappy and appropriate voicemail greeting for their business. Automated greetings will only help current customers stay in touch with you and you will create a great first impression on potential clients.
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Download Ebook Funny Answering Machine Messages Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by
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"SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."
This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
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Cell phone voicemail greetings are generally more personal and casual than office phones. Consider a greeting like “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]’s cell phone. I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.”
Hello this is Sean Connerey. Monty Python. Pulp Fiction. Jim Rockford.Sign in with Facebook. Membership is free, secure and easy. You will require an account to build your own soundboard or buy sound tracks.! Just fill out the account information below. All unverified accounts are deleted within 72 hours. Cart 0.
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. Semper Fi. Leave your order after the beep. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on and on, wasting your time. No more. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! I promise.
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7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
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6. Vacation Voicemail Greetings. Hey, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am actually on a break at the moment, on the other side of the world! Please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [X email address].
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"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.
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Unfortunately, sometimes things get too busy in the salon for it to be possible to have a staff member only on reception duty. As a result, you rely on a salon voicemail greeting to do the job. But is it doing the job?
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Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a…
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4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
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17. "Hello! You've gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back."
Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings
10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.
A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
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Leave no doors of opportunity for them. Comedy Calls is a free prank calling website, brought to you by the creators of The Rejection Hotline Whether you are dealing with frustrated callers, want to further promote your business, or have important info to share, here are the top 8 voicemail greetings and sample voicemail scripts your business should consider.
Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
Who thought a voicemail system could be so fun? You can copy & paste one of the scripts above into the OpenPhone voicemail interface and create a professional voiceover instantly. Want to learn more about what else is possible with OpenPhone? How to set up auto-replies; Create snippets (or text message templates) How to record phone calls
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You should script out your greetings, rehearse, and find a tone of voice that is reflective of your professionalism and your company’s personality. If applicable, your tone and your message should take into account that certain industries and companies are more conservative than others.
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No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
Take the time to listen to calls, call back if necessary, use your cell phone when you’re out of town, and take care of anything actionable listed in the messages instead of watching your mailbox fill in. This kind of attention to detail can go a long way towards building a good reputation and image for the business. Good luck!
A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”
I totally get it… I've been there, and always appreciate finding an “easy button” or shortcut myself. If it'll save me (i) time, (ii) pain or (iii) the trial-and-error of making or finding it myself, then I'm in.
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Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?
Hi there! This is my dog (10yrs old Lab-Staf-Mix) eating a goose neck. Sorry for the Fridge in the background. ... goose neck food horror Dog break chewing crack bones zombie intense Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - mp3 version Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - ogg version Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - waveform Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - spectrogram 175740.0
You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.
Saying that your have available slots for Thursday can be tricky, and also requires more work on your end, as you will need to keep relentlessly updating your salon voicemail message to adapt it. However you should give the time when you are next open. Remember to give your web address if guiding your clients to book online.
If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number, I'd appreciate it.
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18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
Customer Service and Operations at OpenPhone. Founder of SOUL House artist showcase in the GTA. Art is life! Dee Lee 1 year ago Reply
Yes, it draws out the curiosity seekers and then it filters them out before you waste your time on the phone with them. So for us it moves the ball forward with a much higher ratio of the right people. Even if we're actually speaking with fewer people by comparison, but how do you do that effectively? Well, good news in my 18 years in the game now I think I've got it down pretty solid. A finely tuned voicemail script you're looking at right here for seller calls. That's part art and part social science. I think it sets the stage for people and filters out tire kickers, sets the ball beautifully for us to then pass it over for a proper conversation. So I want to walk you through my script and I want to walk you through the 24 hour script for absentee owners in this video.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
8. 605–475–6973: Quit complaining. Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their high-class problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately?
5. Ooma. Ooma voicemail app is among best voicemail app android providing high degree of flexibility. The app offers its users with high-quality voicemail and all-around phone services from anywhere.
Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
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