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The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!

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How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this. .

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-(Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.
Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

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Hi, this is Jackie, it hurts me inside to know I missed your call. Ouch. Leave your painful message after the beep.

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Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails.

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    She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.

    1. The Lever. A lever is a bit of information that shows you know what you’re talking about and how to leave a message in a way that convinces them this isn’t a cold call.
    "Yesterday I got home and I saw the phone machine blinking. I was so happy! I thought 'A message for me! Hooray!' "But when I listened to the tape, there was only a dial tone.

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    I am willing to bet that every man and woman on that subway went and told their friends about that experience. The same idea goes for a voicemail greeting. If you come up with a funny and memorable voicemail greeting, people will share their experience with their friends and family, further enhancing your word of mouth.

    There’s another one that’s a little woman that looks like mother goose. She’s beating him! She’s beating him! She’s got a huge bag! She’s beating him. She’s got this big bag! It’s huge, it’s about the size of her.
    Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.

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    So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.

    Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
    Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:

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    6. Adele Sings Hello as an Outgoing Phone Message. A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit.

    For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to
    It can help to rough out a script to start each message that includes your name and the name of the practice, so that it’s clear right away who called. If you need a reply urgently, say that right away, too, since the person may not listen to the whole message.

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Hi, you’ve reached the home of [name]. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.

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Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now.

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Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.

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38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.

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