This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
No44: Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.
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24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"
Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!
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For example, a voice mail message appointment reminder call might say the following: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next veterinary appointment at [name of practice] is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please respond to the email we are sending you now to confirm the appointment.”
I personally don't like voicemail. I don't check messages because my phone identifies missed calls. I know who these people are and why they are calling. I don't want to spend (waste)time hearing nothing of importance. I have left messages saying
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Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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Only a handful of voiceover actors could possibly bring this dramatic message to your voicemail. Click here to hear how it sounds with cinematic, adrenaline pumping music in the background. Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone
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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.
Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
As you can see by reading our article on how to write the best voicemail greetings, they’re a bit more complex than one might imagine. There are important elements that cannot be left out, as to do so could cost you valuable business contacts. We realize this, so have included a selection of more funny, professional, and personal greeting examples, in MS Word and PDF format. By using these voicemail greetings, you’ll be well on your way to craft a greeting that will be pleasant to hear, provide the correct information, as well as requesting the correct information.
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1. Hi this is [your name], I’m either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and I’ll be sure to get back to you. 2. I’m sorry, but I’m momentarily tied up. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll …
The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when you can’t
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"
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18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
Mom… Dad. I know you are mad that I’m never home to take your calls. So, as a solution to this, I think you guys should give me an early birthday present: a cell phone. beep.
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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Hi, This is _____’s Cell Phone Message Audition . If you would like to enter your message in our
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However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
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Are you ready to talk to the answering machine? Now you can with MY voice message. It listens, records, and even has a beep! Unlike other voicemails, every word is heard. This is a huge value, all for just 2 easy payments and one complicated payment. If you leave a message within the next 10 seconds, I will return your call free of charge. This offer is not available in stores, so leave a message now. Self-evident Jane Barbe (not a real recording, her real voice mashup) makes sure that you know…
3. The Musical Greetings. (To the tune of Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You”) I called you, you called me, we are a calling family, apparently. Leave a message!
Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
I am from Ireland and its for a Multi national manager or executive. My attorney told me that form her experience it takes 4-6 weeks after approval of the I-140 as the visa numbers are current. Bit apprehensive to give the company as I dont see a need for anyone to know this info??? is it absolutely safe to travel with pending i 485 app with valid h1b stamping with receipt notice and completed fp.?we are kind of confuded whether to plan for the travel...We have not yet received the actual advance parole. i read somwhere that if u leave the country wth pending i 485 but without ap ur appl is considered abandoned.is this true.?..we have the option to change the trip to apr too.In a nutshell is it completely safe to travel on 485 pending appl without ap with valid stamping.?:confused: I wanted to start something good that i can work by my self and not cheating others. Brief History: I am working for a Food Processing company (A) in R&D. Company A was my sponsor for GC. I have been on EAD since Oct 2007 (filed 485 during July-Aug 2007 time period) :) . My I-140 was approved Jan 2007. My GC application was started in Apr 2006 - Perm process. Also, i still have my H1B(Extension) valid until Apr 2010. Company A uses a consulting firm for roughly about 25 - 35% of R&D projects. Reason to change: I believe this opportunity will have a significant change/growth to my career. Questions: :confused: Can i change my job to the consulting firm using EAD? What are the consequences i should expect from USCIS? Does the Consulting company have to get involved with any Immigration fillings? If i decide to work for the consulting firm, i will still be doing the same job for Company A but as a consultant + I will have additional projects with other Food Processing companies. I think labor application job description won't change (Company A to Consulting Firm) and this is where i struggle to understand the rules. Need your thoughts and Advice.
Greetings; Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great This is a free greeting. Sign in or sign up to use! Want a ringtone instead? Send it to your phone. Comments On This Greeting ( 16 ) At 6
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
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This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.
Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message. Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!
It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!
7. Automated And Recorded Voicemail Greetings Overview. Thank You! Callers Hear A Professionally Recorded Greeting Introducing Your Company, And Then The Caller Is Transferred Out To Speak To You Live.
3. Voicemail greetings for the customer s ervice phone number. Customers will eventually need help from your business. If your customer service team is unavailable for calls, you can use the customer service voicemail recordings below.
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
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Traditionally, businesses send out greeting cards or eGreeting cards during the holiday season. While this is a great approach, you shouldn't wait around for the winter holidays to tell let your clients know you're thinking of them! Keeping in touch with your clients throughout the year is a... 7 Elements of a Real Estate Professional's Voicemail Greeting May 17, 2012 Juli Durante real estate, script samples, greetings
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If you want your business proposals, price quotes, and contracts to stand out and give you the best chance at winning new clients, use ClientPoint's business proposal software. It makes creating and formatting professional business proposals, price quotes, and contracts fast and easy. Click the button below to get a FREE demo of ClientPoint. PREVIOUS ARTICLE How to write a business proposal executive summary NEXT ARTICLE Sales strategies - How to turn "I want to think about it" into a "YES"
No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
There are many businesses that operate online or even brick and mortar, that have business voicemail lines that are only there to direct customers and Away from the phone Free voicemail message scripts and demos
Good day, you have reached the office of [Name]. I’m away for the weekend. If you require my immediate assistance, please call 555-555-2345. Otherwise, if this is a casual call, please leave your name, number and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you on Monday.
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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Just kidding.
Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.
No23: This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
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“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].”
Answering message 259. Search for jokes by keyword. Also see. Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages. Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages.
Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....What is the best answering machine message?
2. Access the dial pad. You'll need to bring up the Phone app's dial pad, as if you were going to call an actual person. To do this, tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen.
Mom… Dad. I know you are mad that I’m never home to take your calls. So, as a solution to this, I think you guys should give me an early birthday present: a cell phone. beep.
This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
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