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48. Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [company name]. If you need help with [X reason], please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website at X and send us an email]. For all other inquiries, please leave your name, phone number, and a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

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7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP."
My voicemail prompts the caller to leave his or her name and number. My dad’s response on his most recent message: .

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Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.

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13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers

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Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes

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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your

  • funny voicemail greetings

    2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it's not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day."

    Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes.
    Mark Christiansen has been the trusted voice of many Fortune 500 Companies, and thousands of small businesses for voicemail.

  • voice greeting recording

    When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

    This script is very informative for motivated sellers. However, I do not have the years of experience you mentioned in the beginning. Still worth a try because I can tweak it.
    It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!

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    No35: (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!

    I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'
    Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. 😀

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    Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality.

    After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
    Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]17 Weird Library Reference Questions12 completely obvious and useless quotesCursed McDonald’s Fries CosplayEmployees must stop crying before returning to work

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It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!

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2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.

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Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.

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I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.

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