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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.
A long time back I found all the AT&T voice pieces in a set of .wav files. I made an answering machine message that said, "I'm sorry... the number you have dialed xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. You can reach your party at their new number, 911." Something to that affect. I don't think many people even got to my phone number before they hung up. I changed it shortly thereafter. .

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I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.

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After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

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My grandpa (RIP)'s outgoing voicemail message used to give their phone # instead of their name. "Hi, you've reached 555-1234, leave your message at the beep."

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If I’m your best friend, that’s not a problem. But otherwise, I have no idea if I’m leaving a message for the right person or not. Was that his voice? I couldn’t tell. It kinda sounded like Micheal Cera. Did I accidentally just call Michael Cera’s phone? “Hey if this is Alex, it’s Bryan Allain…call me back. And if this is Michael Cera, loved you in Year One. You may also call me back.”

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    Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.

    Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
    7. Voicemail Message. The company voicemail greeting callers hear. Sample Voicemail Scripts: “You have reached the voicemail of [company name]. Please leave a detailed message and someone will return your call as soon as possible.”

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    So my dad called me and I missed the call, on my voice mail greeting I say to leave your name and number and I'll get back to you.

    No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
    Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

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    The other day, I was leaving a message, and the voicemail system cut me off. It seems I exceeded my 90 seconds of allotted time. No, I didn’t call back. I figured the man got the gist of the message, so I left the ball in his court.

    Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings
    In sales, immediate communication with your prospects and current customers is important. Being available to answer questions or further negotiate a deal allows your clients to feel secure and more apt to purchase from you. But what if you can’t answer the phone when they call? Make sure you have a voicemail system set up so your clients have the opportunity to leave you a message.

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    This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?

    50. Hi, this is the customer service center at [X company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Leave your name and number and the next available representative will call you back to assist you. Things to Include in a Voicemail Message Get the Caller to Leave Their Name and Phone Number
    Don’t rush. It’s important to speak slowly and clearly when leaving your next voicemail greeting. Have you ever called someone and the message sounds like one big word? Don’t be that guy. Pronounce your words and take pauses between your sentences

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3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible.

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“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”

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5. Ooma. Ooma voicemail app is among best voicemail app android providing high degree of flexibility. The app offers its users with high-quality voicemail and all-around phone services from anywhere.

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3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible.

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