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Voicemail: [You can listen to the above video to hear my actual voicemail, and you can also snag the scrip verbatim by simply leaving us a comment below, tell us how you feel about it. šŸ™‚ ]

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I know you're angry because I never answer your phone.So, to fix this, I think you guys should give me a birthday present: cell phone..(Make a little noise in the background ).Hi, you are already at your friend's house.
6.) Donā€™t miss the opportunity to leave a specific message. Thereā€™s nothing more frustrating than listening to a voicemail that basically says, ā€œHi, itā€™s me. Call when you can!ā€ Even if youā€™re just calling to say hi, make that your phone message. ā€œHi, Barbara! Itā€™s Maralee! I havenā€™t heard your voice in too long, and I wanted to touch base and say hi. Iā€™ll give you a call tonight at 8:00 your time. I hope we can chat then. Stay warm in Michigan. I heard about the storms.ā€ .

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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.

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God's Voice mail lolĀ Jesus's Voice mail
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Seconds later say ā€œHAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!ā€ A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when Iā€™m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why Iā€™m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, Iā€™m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that Iā€™m a player, Iā€™ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didnā€™t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called ā€œAnswering Machinesā€ and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. Heā€™s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bobā€™s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. Thereā€™s a porn site I want to join and I donā€™t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and Iā€™m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi youā€™ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesnā€™t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bobā€™s answering machine and heā€™s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and Iā€™m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesnā€™t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well Iā€™m with you on this one. I canā€™t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why canā€™t they just get to the point? All they have to say is ā€œHey Iā€™m not here cause Iā€™m doing important stuff. Leave a message!ā€ Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, Iā€™m in the process of getting married. Why canā€™t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, Iā€™m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if youā€™re a telemarketer give me your number and Iā€™ll call you back. What, you donā€™t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bobā€™s voicemail and heā€™s on vacation. Heā€™s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I wonā€™t say a word! Hi, youā€™ve reached the pizza delivery guy and Iā€™m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bobā€™s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, youā€™ll hear back! If youā€™re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, thereā€™s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! Iā€™m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! Iā€™m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and Iā€™ll call back. If you donā€™t hear from me, then itā€™s cause I donā€™t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, Iā€™m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob whoā€™s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. Youā€™re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOOā€¦ Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Letā€™s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, itā€™s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I donā€™t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and Iā€™ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. Iā€™m probably running away from the wife. Sheā€™s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke

how to record a personal voicemail greeting on iphone

ā€œHi, youā€™ve called [name] at [XYZ company]. Iā€™m currently busy [hiking through a rainforest, exploring China, climbing Mount Peru etc.] and so I canā€™t take your call right now. I wonā€™t be back in the office until [date] and I look forward to hearing from you then.

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10. Uncovering Competitor Info. When it comes to sales voicemail scripts, even the smallest details of a message significantly impact the response rates.

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    You need to portray a sense of confidence, authority, and respect. The best creative voicemails: This is you know who and if you don't know who, then you have the wrong number Creative Voicemails I'm too sexy for my phone and that's why I'm not home but you can feel free to leave a message.

    Nov 11, 2019 - Explore maru's board "funny voicemail" on Pinterest. See more ideas about voicemail, funny, voicemail greeting.
    No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

  • funny and professional voicemail greetings

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    I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling
    Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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    10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, Iā€™ll be right with you. You are half-way there.
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    3. Voicemail greetings for the customer s ervice phone number. Customers will eventually need help from your business. If your customer service team is unavailable for calls, you can use the customer service voicemail recordings below.

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    8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: ā€œThank you for calling [company name].

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leaving a funny voicemail message

42. Hi, youā€™ve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.

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ā€œHello, youā€™ve reached [X company]. We canā€™t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.ā€ ā€œHi, youā€™ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, weā€™re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you ā€” so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.ā€ ā€œHi, youā€™ve reached [company]. Weā€™re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If youā€™d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.ā€ ā€œHello, youā€™ve reached [company]. If youā€™re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and weā€™ll return your call straight away.ā€

what to say in a personal voicemail greeting

A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems.Ā Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I canā€™t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and weā€™ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their callĀ Funny Voicemail Greeting

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Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So, leave your name and number and tell us where you saw Elvis!

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