I know you're angry because I never answer your phone.So, to fix this, I think you guys should give me a birthday present: cell phone..(Make a little noise in the background ).Hi, you are already at your friend's house.
6.) Donāt miss the opportunity to leave a specific message. Thereās nothing more frustrating than listening to a voicemail that basically says, āHi, itās me. Call when you can!ā Even if youāre just calling to say hi, make that your phone message. āHi, Barbara! Itās Maralee! I havenāt heard your voice in too long, and I wanted to touch base and say hi. Iāll give you a call tonight at 8:00 your time. I hope we can chat then. Stay warm in Michigan. I heard about the storms.ā
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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.
God's Voice mail lolĀ Jesus's Voice mail
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Seconds later say āHAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!ā A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when Iām R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why Iām not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, Iām on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that Iām a player, Iāll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didnāt use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called āAnswering Machinesā and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. Heās there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bobās answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. Thereās a porn site I want to join and I donāt want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and Iām not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi youāve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesnāt do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bobās answering machine and heās pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and Iām sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesnāt push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well Iām with you on this one. I canāt stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why canāt they just get to the point? All they have to say is āHey Iām not here cause Iām doing important stuff. Leave a message!ā Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, Iām in the process of getting married. Why canāt the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, Iām not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if youāre a telemarketer give me your number and Iāll call you back. What, you donāt want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bobās voicemail and heās on vacation. Heās in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I wonāt say a word! Hi, youāve reached the pizza delivery guy and Iām trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bobās girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, youāll hear back! If youāre calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, thereās no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! Iām pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! Iām probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and Iāll call back. If you donāt hear from me, then itās cause I donāt like you! Keep your original voice Hi, Iām Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob whoās here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. Youāre calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOOā¦ Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Letās see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, itās right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I donāt answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and Iāll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. Iām probably running away from the wife. Sheās in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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Nov 11, 2019 - Explore maru's board "funny voicemail" on Pinterest. See more ideas about voicemail, funny, voicemail greeting.
No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, Iāll be right with you. You are half-way there.
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8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: āThank you for calling [company name].
42. Hi, youāve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.
āHello, youāve reached [X company]. We canāt take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.ā āHi, youāve reached [company]. Unfortunately, weāre currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you ā so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.ā āHi, youāve reached [company]. Weāre available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If youād like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.ā āHello, youāve reached [company]. If youāre looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and weāll return your call straight away.ā
A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems.Ā Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I canāt come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and weāll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their callĀ Funny Voicemail Greeting