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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages Laugh Brea . Listen to your voice messages and return any calls at your convenience. Set up your voicemail, and get started with Skype voice messages today. Get Skype . Discover all Skype's features .
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
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5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].
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I quite liked the ease of the script; not rushed and overbearing. It is like you are right there talking to me at the kitchen table. Slight grammatical error, it’s ” my wife and I” not “me and my wife.”
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05You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Unfortunately, we are currently closed. We are usually open between [hours] [days] and closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your details and we will get back to you when the office opens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for other options. Thank you for your call. This after-hours voicemail greeting lets callers know how to do business or communicate with you outside normal business hours. You may also like 6 How to Ask for a Raise Email Templates to Get Your Point Across
Many times, salon voicemail messages only take away from your remarkable customer service and without the wanted result: drive clients in for an appointment. This is why we do not recommend getting into this habit, even if we are fully aware it sometimes seems like the only available option.
A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
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3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.
No10: (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP
I like the NLP within the script. I also like how comfortable it is and how much you focus on being local as I am new to wholesaling and plan to focus where I live in person versus virtual.
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Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
40 Voicemail Greetings & Phone Message Templates [Business, Funny, Professional] Nowadays most people rely on their phones so much that it’s basically become a part of our lifestyle. They used to be just a device which can be used to talk and communicate verbally.
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder.
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Employees’ expectations of privacy for the mobile devices they own and use for work don’t match up with reality, according to a survey of 2,997 workers in the U.S., the United Kingdom and
“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
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How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this.
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Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.
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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
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Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call.
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No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
-Hi, you’ve reached _____________. Please leave a message after my kid stops (awkward moment of silence) owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!… continuing… after my kid stops hitting me in the back with his hockey stick! BEEP
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03Hello, this is [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m not able to take your call at the moment. Please leave your details and a quick message and I will get back to you at the earliest time possible. Thanks in advance. This voicemail greeting for work lets your customers or colleagues know that you are busy attending to other matters. It also reassures them that you’ll get back to them when you receive their message.
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5. Voicemail Greetings For Vacation. As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.
One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'
– Thank you for calling (name of the company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 8 to access our fax on-demand system. Press 9 for a company directory, or press 0 for the operator.
Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
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Like I said earlier, 99.9% of voicemail greetings are exactly the same. Go outside the box and create a hilarious voicemail greeting. Comedic messages create a memorable experience, encourage word of mouth and keep your callers on the line. Seems like a winning formula to me.
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Damn Daniel. Stop Calling My Girlfriend. Cat Facts. Donald Trump - Join My Cabinet. IRS Tax Extension. Obama Bailout. Stop Calling Me. You're Having a Baby. Stop Calling My Boyfriend. Pizza Order Confirmation. You're Having a Baby Boy.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.
Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.
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Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!
We have added expanded forums for the new strategy games Humankind and Old World. Civilization's 30th Birthday Contest: Give Civ a Present, Get One Back! New Forums for Humankind and Old World 100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard Page 1 of 9 1 ← 2 3 4 5 6 → 9 Next > Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 45 Location: at my house Lets try to put 100 of the funniest thigs you can put on your answering machine. I can't think of any thing so somebody else start off, and links to web sites are ok. Chain n' Axe, May 22, 2003 Joined: Apr 10, 2003 Messages: 359 Location: Here " OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN! PLEASE PUT IT DOWN! BOOM!!!" *beep*
Caller ID also played a role in the decline of calls answered by making it easier to know which calls to reject.
“Hi, you’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We can’t take your call right now but feel free to call back during business hours from [hour] to [hour], Monday through Friday. In case of an urgent query, you can contact us through our website [URL] and access our live chat.
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4. 605–475–6964: Things could actually be worse. This is one of the best dial a joke phone numbers. Read also. Sign her already: Reactions as 18-year-old Nigerian lady dribbles men on football pitch in viral video.