1. Personal Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello! You’ve reached (insert company name.) This is (insert name) in the (insert department.) My apologizes for not being available to take your call, but I’m on the line helping another customer (insert business’s most attractive result or purpose point.)
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Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes
33. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We’re currently closed to celebrate [X holiday], but we’ll be back on [X date]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message so our team can get back to you when we return.
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I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
2. The Mystery. A mysterious voicemail leaves the listener wondering what the call is about and plays to our fear of loss and FOMO. What if something’s wrong w/ my account?
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For the safety of our team and our customers during the pandemic, [LinkedPhone] is currently closed until further notice. We are grateful for your ongoing support and patience during this time and we look forward to reconnecting with you as soon as possible. Please visit our website or social media channels for updates. Stay safe and healthy.
Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.
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“Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”
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Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. The roses have wilted, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. The roses stink, sorta like sheep. But leave your name, number, and message after the beep. The roses are molding, the violets are rotten. And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten.
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We know that the only way to live a blessed and happy life is to live out the Golden Rule. And we know that manners (from the Latin word for hand…how to handle something) give us mutually agreed upon best practices for putting the Golden Rule into practice in our everyday encounters. They also help us know what to expect from one another and set gracious boundaries.
7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
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No1: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
– Sorry, I can’t be everywhere, and sitting by the phone ready to take your call, just isn’t going to happen. The best thing to do is to leave your message and not be offended that I wasn’t able to speak with you. Thanks.
"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How are you?" cromagnon, May 26, 2003 Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Messages: 1,463 You have reached the room of Matt and Brad. I am busy throwing Brad out the window (scream, quickly diminishing), so please leave a message. We had to try about 6 times before we didn't laugh while making it. Our RA came in and asked if everything was alright from my screaming.
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7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.
Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!
08You’ve reached the voicemail of [your business/company]. We are under new management and will be hosting a re-opening on [dates] where you can come and meet the team and have a chance to learn more about our enhanced services and new products. To leave a voicemail message, press the # key and someone from our team will call you back within 24 hours. This voicemail greeting is used to communicate information regarding changes to any business activities. It specifies how customers can communicate and do business with you, during any transition time.
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If done tastefully, you can promote your products or services on your voicemail greeting without sounding pushy. In fact, it’s a great way to keep customers up-to-date on company events, sales, and other news. Be sure to keep it short and have fun with it.
How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3.
Funniest Voice Mail Ever Original Funny Voice mail
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Hey It’s _____. Here are three things you probably shouldn’t do right now: 1.) Don’t leave a message. It’s boring to listen to and a waste of my time. 2.) Don’t call me back. I didn’t answer for a reason so just keep that in mind. 3.)
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And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings. 1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever
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But it appears I’m not alone. Here’s a portion of one reader’s letter; see whether you relate!
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Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!
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He/she is not at home now and I took this opportunity to rob it.I was about to steal the machine, too. you called me.Leave your name and number after the beep.I will write on a postPut it in the fridge for him/her to see.
I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.
Now moving into the second paragraph, me and my wife and my partner James, our local Memphians, there's a reason that I refer to my wife. No, she's not involved in our house buying business actively.
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This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time.
Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message.
-Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. BOOM! (not followed by a beep)
This is a funny message left on my phone, funny because they called me to tell me I am apparently ... answering-machine automated message phone voice Public Survey Call.wav - mp3 version Public Survey Call.wav - ogg version Public Survey Call.wav - waveform Public Survey Call.wav - spectrogram 15313.6 life telephone answering-machine beep answer-phone home message annoying before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - mp3 version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - ogg version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - waveform before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - spectrogram 56319.2 The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - mp3 version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - ogg version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - waveform The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - spectrogram 15181.0 answer echo god-machine voicemail Error Dial Answering Machine - mp3 version Error Dial Answering Machine - ogg version Error Dial Answering Machine - waveform Error Dial Answering Machine - spectrogram 32304.8
About the AuthorLenny Zeltser develops products and programs that use security to achieve business results. He is the CISO at Axonius and Faculty Fellow at SANS Institute. Lenny has been leading efforts to establish resilient security practices and solve hard security problems for over two decades. A respected author and practitioner, he has been advancing tradecraft and contributing to the community. His insights build upon real-world experience, a Computer Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and an MBA degree from MIT Sloan.
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To increase the chances veterinary clients will take your calls or listen to any voice mail messages you do leave, consider these strategies:
Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.
All right guys. So there you go. That's my voicemail message that I've crafted carefully over the last 18 years in the game. You need to use this as a starting point only for creating your own version of this. And then I'd really like to hear from you what you think about this and how it works for you. Tell me a comment below. Just talk to me. Tell me how this strikes you. Is there anything about the script that you like or don't like especially? I'm open-minded… talk to me. Thanks guys. Keep it awesome. Happy investing. JP Out.
We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!
Answering message 259. Search for jokes by keyword. Also see. Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages. Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages.
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Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we'd continue…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 19, Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text. Who is this?!
Being the great guy that he is, the star humbly complied but added a fun and unexpected close to the recording. Please leave a message. Laugh as you watch how Mr. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
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Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.
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I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.
6. The Referral. A referral sales voicemail works when you are referred to a client by a third party. If you are reaching out to a prospect you haven’t spoken with, you might start by mentioning that you were referred before clearly stating the intention of your voicemail message.
Answering Machine Messages: Funny, General And For Business - Wishes Messages Sayings. Just kidding, I love my job, [X company] is the best. This not only engages your targeted customers, but also creates a stronger sense of brand identity. Remember, only use fun or funny voicemail greetings if you feel that it reflects and works for your business.
Customer Service and Operations at OpenPhone. Founder of SOUL House artist showcase in the GTA. Art is life! Dee Lee 1 year ago Reply
Short and Creative Voicemail Greetings for Professional Businesses. 1. Hi this is [your name], I’m either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and I’ll be sure to get back to you. 2. I’m sorry, but I’m momentarily tied up.
