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Hello? Hello? Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you. That's because I'm not home. Leave a message.

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4. The Millennial Greeting. We don’t call anymore, text. Seriously? You’re calling, again? Can everything you have to say be condensed in a text message? Hello, this is [insert name].
As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep. .

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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.
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We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.
Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for calling and I will call you back as soon as I’m back. Thanks for calling!”

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After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

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If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

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    When the Queen asked Prince William and Prince Harry to help her set up her voicemail, they recorded a voicemail greeting that said “Hey wassup! This is Liz. Sorry, I’m away from the throne. For a hotline to Philip, press one. For Charles, press two. And for the corgis, press three.“

    Good Voicemail Greetings For Cell Phone Funny Voicemails Voicemail Funny Greetings For Your Phone Ideas Cell Phones 2 Business Answering Machine Greetings Tips Messages Closed Voicemail Recording Examples Professional Samples Short Free Funny Phone Greetings Pranks Ideas Of Voicemail Audio Fun Voicemail Greetings Skyphotos Co
    Use These Funny Messages To Customise Your Mobile Phone Voicemail. Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service. Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your

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    By signing up, you agree to Snap Recordings Privacy Statement and Terms and Conditions Greetings Message On Hold MoH Subscriptions Voice Prompts Call Center Recordings IVR Prompts About partners Be a voice talent Privacy Statement terms & conditions Contact Us Blog faq script examples Audio converter Quoting Tool

    10. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail is yet another great voicemail tool for your android devices for accessing and managing your voicemails.
    This article is about the second main type of greeting – the voicemail greeting. All businesses should have professional voicemail greetings at the company level (i.e. your general business number), department level (e.g. customer service), and employee level, where applicable. It’s important that each of these voicemail greetings align with the brand and personality of your company to ensure that every caller has a consistent experience. Let’s dive in!

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    Man I just had a wreck right in front of me. This guy ran a red light and hit four old ladies in an Impala.

    File Name: 911.wav File Size: 499 KB Text: "Thank you for calling 911. All of our offices are busy right now, please call back later .." File Name: afterlife.wav File Size: 611 KB Text: "Welcom to the afterlife voice mail system, if you are trying to reach heaven .." File Name: altzheimers.wav
    There are plenty of options for business voicemail messages, including professional greetings, casual messages, and even funny ones. Consider your brand voice and target audience to choose the tone. And include directions for those who call.

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    If you choose to do this, make sure you develop a discipline. If you say you return calls within 2 hours, it needs to be 2 hours. Delivering on what you promise is what’s going to make your customer service stand out when it comes to busy times and people reaching your voicemail.

    Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. I’m sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone …
    8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.

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Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you. You need to portray a sense of confidence, authority, and respect. If you would like to leave a voicemail message for an inmate, you must first have a Prepaid Account.

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“Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d leave a message at the beep. Hello, can you hear me? I’m in California dreaming about the message that you’ll leave. Hello from Ellen.”

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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages

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