This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time.
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If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you. Imagine all of your callers being greeted as if they were watching a trailer for the next blockbuster hit.
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Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text. Much more! Sign Up.
Voice Spice is a free online voice recorder and message sharing site. You can record a message, morph your voice, then share your it with others via Facebook, Twitter, Gmail and more!
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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.
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#DidYouKnow Katharine’s voice inspired other great performances in the film industry? In The Lion in Winter, Katharine Hepburn played the mother of actor Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.
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Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
20 Clean and Funny Answering Machine Messages [Perfect One's] Answering Machine Messages are here to Give you the Clean, Funny and Joyfull Recorded Voicemail Greetings for Your Professional Business. If the person (answering machine messages for telemarketers) does not answer a call within the certain number of rings.
Acces PDF Telephone Answering Machine Messages 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break The telephone answering device is slightly different from the concept of voicemail, given that voicemail represents a centralized and networked
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"Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."
5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
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Here are some great examples of professional voicemail greetings that you can use in your business!
Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
Hi, this is [Name]. I’m not currently available at the moment, but I look forward to talking with you. Please leave your contact information, along with a short message, and I’ll make certain to return your call.
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.
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Chances are that you have a voicemail. A landline or a cellphone usually comes standard with the option for a personal greeting. Below are some original and humorous recordings of voice messages for your mobile or immobile phone. There are plenty of other funny ideas, but we’ve seen them or heard them before. For instance, the “Hello” and pause effect- the prank is more amusing for the listener because you don’t get to hear them throughout their confusion until after the beep. A rarer one was a philosophical answering machine that I found rather witty:
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“You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.”
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I don't actually have an answering machine or voicemail or whatever, but I would have had this one: Hallo?
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Free Logos For All Phones. Free Picture Messages. Free Animated Screensavers. Free Mobile Software Downloads. SonyEricsson T Free Stuff. Siemens Free Stuff. Free Poly Ringtones. Unlocking Mobiles. Unlocking Cell Phones. Motorola Unlock. Mobile Playground. Fun Exchange Forum. Purple Leopard. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.
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8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.
Setting up your voicemail. 1. Press and hold 1. 2. Enter your password if prompted. If you are asked for a password the first time you access your voicemail, just enter the last four digits of your phone number. 3. Follow the directions to set up your password. 4.
An excellent business voicemail greeting conveys your level of professionalism and competence while also providing your callers with a glimpse into your company’s culture and level of care. As minor as it may seem, your voicemail greeting can instill confidence and trust in your callers or it can be a cause for concern.
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6. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I am unavailable at the moment, but please leave your name, number, and the reason you’re calling, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.
2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
!
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You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone."
Keep it simple, concise and to the point. Callers won’t need your life story, and won’t want to wait around for a 2-minute greeting to end just so they can leave a message. Don’t hide the details, tell them where you will be, when you will be there, or when you won’t be there, and how to get in touch.
Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, debate has ensued about whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place. (Skeptics have questioned facets such as whether the narrator would not only have been able to tell at a distance that the book one of the assaulting women was carrying was a Bible, but to identify the specific version of Bible — and why the narrator would think to note that detail in his description.) A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box (the restaurant chain most frequently mentioned in circulated versions of this recording) produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I’m not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet.
Eight days ago she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.
For example, a voice mail message appointment reminder call might say the following: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next veterinary appointment at [name of practice] is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please respond to the email we are sending you now to confirm the appointment.”
– Hi, I will be studying at the University library till late. Cannot carry my phone inside. Will get back to you as soon as I can. So leave a message after the beep.
A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell.
Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
2. Access the dial pad. You'll need to bring up the Phone app's dial pad, as if you were going to call an actual person. To do this, tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen.
38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
No34: Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs.
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2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.
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Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.
8. Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I’ll be thinking about it…
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Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.
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07Thank you for calling [business name]. I’m out assisting other clients with their goals, at the moment, but look forward to attending to you. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call within one business day. To schedule an appointment press 1. This is an example of an industry-specific voicemail greeting. This voicemail gives specific and clear instructions to the callers.
Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not.
Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.
