The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Noland Voyd. I do NOT want greeting messages. Update 2: cind, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.
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41. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Leave a message so we can call you back as soon as our team has a spare moment.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
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Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages.
-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes “Learn to Stress Less” 68+ Inspiring Quotes
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A voicemail greeting is a simple message that plays before callers leave a message. It may play either when you don’t answer or if your phone is off. A professional greeting may encourage people to leave messages, which in turn makes it easier for you to get back in touch. Keeping that communication open and efficient may lead to better business relationships. It also helps you put forth a professional image for your business.
Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
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7. Scream like a Madman, then answers: “sorry for the interruption.” Okay, so you might want to take precautions in this because you can only say these crazy things to your close friends.
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what should i say in my personal voicemail greeting
4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
Hello. You’ve reached the establishment of Binder and Binder Law Offices in West Chapel. We regret we are not here to answer your call. However, your call is important to us, so please leave your contact information and a brief message at the tone, and we’ll get back to you shortly. It’s been a pleasure receiving your call.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this …
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Thank you so much for sharing these valuable information! I truly appreciated it!
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Noland Voyd. I do NOT want greeting messages. Update 2: cind, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.
09 Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.
Listing Results Personal cell phone greetings samples All: 39 Results Convert App Compress Submit Your Post
20 Clean and Funny Answering Machine Messages [Perfect One's] Answering Machine Messages are here to Give you the Clean, Funny and Joyfull Recorded Voicemail Greetings for Your Professional Business. If the person (answering machine messages for telemarketers) does not answer a call within the certain number of rings.
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Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
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I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
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Motivational Quotes Small Business News Cartoon Gallery Small Business Spotlight Cat Behavior Cat Food Health & Care Kittens Lifestyle Cat Breeds BOOKSTORE Subscribe Cat Behavior Cat Food Health & Care Kittens Lifestyle Cat Breeds BOOKSTORE Subscribe Cat Behavior Cat Food Health & Care Kittens Lifestyle Cat Breeds Customer Service My Account Cat Behavior Cat Food Health & Care Kittens Lifestyle Cat Breeds Customer Service My Account Lifestyle, MOLz By Angie Bailey , February 8, 2016 Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on linkedin Share on pinterest
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Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now.
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Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top …
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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.
Hi, you’ve reached the home of [name]. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.
Of course, you NEED a voicemail greeting for the times your salon is closed at least. Here’s a checklist of best practices.
Good day. You’ve reached the residence of the O’Meara family on 5th and Oak. We regret not being able to attend to your call. However, if you choose to, you may leave your contact information at the tone, and we shall be most happy to return your call as soon as we are able. Thank you for your call. Include the name of the individual, family or business State you are sorry you cannot get to the phone Ask them to leave their contact information behind Thank them for their call Informal Voicemail Greetings
If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
Is there another postcard to which you were referring in the script video that DOES say that the seller will NOT talk to a real person at first? I'm just a little bit confused about the discrepancy there. But, like I said, I am battling pneumonia so i'm prolly not braining well today. Hard for me to know really.
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Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.
10. Uncovering Competitor Info. When it comes to sales voicemail scripts, even the smallest details of a message significantly impact the response rates.
And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:
Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.
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41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.
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“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”
8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.
Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)
27. Hey, this is [your name], but you should know that already since you called me. I’m obviously not here right now, so I won’t patronize you by telling you what to do after the tone.
The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.
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This short, quick message tells him how you feel, shows he's on your mind, and makes him start thinking about you. All Rights Reserved.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy.
Our funny voice mail greetings are uploadable to any voicemail system or answering machine you can call into to change your greeting, so you can have a funny voice greeting on your cell phone or home phone! (Click Here to Learn How) All voice greetings are delivered at the time of purchase in a .zip file containing a .wav file, an .mp3 file
“Glad you called, but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number, so I don’t get mixed up with different offers, and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye!”
Listing Results Funny Voicemail Greeting Mp3 46 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service
Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-
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I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.
How have you been? We have to meet this weekend.There are two kinds of phone users in the world: people who leave voicemails for other people and people who ignore voicemails from other people. Just kidding. Y: You have reached the voice mail box of your name. No longer do we have to slog through dial menus or trudge through every single message to get to the next.
Hi! You've reached Janet and Chris's room. We're not in right now. If this is our parents, we're at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that's it. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the, the, the Pope. Yeah that's it.
12. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m away from my phone at the moment, but leave a message after the tone so I can get back in touch later today.
This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.
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I have a confession to make: I haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting in nearly a decade. Since then, I've (hopefully) become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you'd think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
