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funny voicemail numbers to call
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
“I’m not able to get to the phone in spite of the fact that I’m able to climb mountains, water ski, and play a saxophone. So, please leave me your message, and I’ll get to you soon. Thanks for calling.”
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17. "Hello! You've gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back."
5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.
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The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation.
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I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.
Made famous by George Costanza as you can see the clip here, the answering machine song may seem like a good idea. It's out of the box, unexpected, and definitely a novelty, but unless you're in the music business, it's probably not a good idea. You'll definitely irritate your mother (or anyone else important who calls you frequently) and you won't make a good first impression with your message.
Website: https://www.americanvoicemail.com/articles/10-must-haves-of-professional-voicemail-for-real-estate/
Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person.
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Hello this is Sean Connerey. Monty Python. Pulp Fiction. Jim Rockford.Sign in with Facebook. Membership is free, secure and easy. You will require an account to build your own soundboard or buy sound tracks.! Just fill out the account information below. All unverified accounts are deleted within 72 hours. Cart 0.
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
answering machine. noun. an electronic device that is attached to a telephone and that automatically answers callers with a prerecorded message and records their messages for later playback. Nearby words. Origin of answering machine. Also called telephone answering machine.
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Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for one…
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....
Be Part Of Our Story!
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23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.
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If you want your business proposals, price quotes, and contracts to stand out and give you the best chance at winning new clients, use ClientPoint's business proposal software. It makes creating and formatting professional business proposals, price quotes, and contracts fast and easy. Click the button below to get a FREE demo of ClientPoint. PREVIOUS ARTICLE How to write a business proposal executive summary NEXT ARTICLE Sales strategies - How to turn "I want to think about it" into a "YES"
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This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.
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I turned on the boom box and varied the AM between 56 and 60 hertz. Then I played a videotape ... 60hz am interference old-tv radio remote spikes 02710 alien signal receive.wav - mp3 version 02710 alien signal receive.wav - ogg version 02710 alien signal receive.wav - waveform 02710 alien signal receive.wav - spectrogram 34184.8 science signal alien radar explore radio cosmos We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. By browsing our site you agree to our use of cookies. For more information check out our cookies policy. Developers Blog About Terms of use Design by Pixelshell. Code by MTG (UPF). Some Rights Reserved.
Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.
You can customize each greeting for each phone number within your OpenPhone account. In addition, you can change it as often as you need.
George is a little different considering he won’t have eager leads calling him about a remodeling project, however, there are certain lessons we can all take from his funny voicemail.
Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything.
“This is Roxie. If you’re receiving this message, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Try my other phone. If you get my voicemail on that one, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Stop bothering me.”
!
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Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back—only that I won't.
4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
Obviously, my dad always replied with "Hello, this is 555-6789, give us a call back when you can." Every time.
Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues.
I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”
Perhaps this guy was tired, maybe having a bad day, and hopefully he doesn’t leave this type of message regularly.
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Informal voicemail greetings are those that don’t adhere to the rules of professional and business voicemail greetings. Here, you are free to just leave a simple greeting, or use it to show your more witty side. This style of greetings can be used for both home and business if you like, depending on the type of caller you expect. For instance, a novelty shop could probably create a rather informal message, using sound effects that represent the type of items they sell.
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Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Have you ever wondered how many clients you might have lost out because of using a salon voicemail? The goal is to drive customers in, not away. So after chatting with some of our salon training staff that have been in the industry for years now, we’ve put together some messages that will guarantee you bookings.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, mostly on top. I like doing it left to right, very slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address].
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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
Six fun facts about using voicemail in your sales prospecting process. There is disruption happening is voicemail land. You want to be aware of the changes and do what is necessary to stay ahead of your competition. Let’s review some statistics on voicemail volume, rates of retrieval, abandonment and why transcription and smartphones should have your restructuring the voicemails you do Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month New Contact Listing› The Hoth› Apple Watch› Broderbund› Cablevision› Tracfone Wireless› Verizon Communications› Dell› Samsung Galaxy S5› Imessage› Journal Of Communication› Hamburger Helper Meatloaf Recipe› Sba Communications› Gmail› Iphone› Raspberry Pi› History Of The Iphone› Huntington Bancshares› CignaBrowse All Listing » Frequently Asked QuestionsHow do you set up a voice message?
The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.
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-(Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.
"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
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Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.
Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.
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4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
No one likes to be on hold. Make that experience enjoyable for your customers and clients. I can voice custom messages, with music in the background, talking about your business or products while they wait. Reassure them that someone will be with them soon.
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Funny Voicemail Greetings 1. Funny Voicemail Greetings Maintaining a business-like manner is very important in all facets of corporate life. For most companies hiring recording engineers, training is a necessity. But this time, why don't you try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, allow us to involve some intriguing
Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.
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Does your salon offer Online Bookings? If so, slip that information in your recording. Drive bookings IN. Here’s why Online Bookings are the biggest opportunity you’re missed out on if you don’t offer them.
Using your cell phone to record a voicemail message isn't always easy. Between remembering what to say and getting the right timing, it's tricky. But your phone does have a playback option, and it's easy to listen to and review your message. For some people, though, cutting off the end of a message is a funny way to trick people and catch them off guard. In most situations, callers won't know it's intentional and will think you're far less than tech savvy. Definitely not an impression I'd want to make.
