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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."

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Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text. Much more! Sign Up.
Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape. .

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The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time.

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No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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You can send them funny Good Morning messages to make them smilechuckle, or laugh out loud from deep under the covers. Check out these hilarious messages that your loved ones will surely appreciate. Mothers are natural comedians, so you will have to try a little harder to get that desired reaction from them. It would not be difficult when you know what tickles their funny bones.

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    The voicemail function allows the caller to leave a message in case you are busy. It informs the caller of your status and assures that the message will be heard. For instance, good voicemail greetings at corporate firms create a pleasant impression on the caller’s mind or a hilarious voicemail can make someone’s day. Parents can be assured that an urgent message will be delivered once you get access to your phone.

    24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.
    There was a time once we were mad for the funny voicemail greetings, creative voicemail greetings, it seems like that time has gone, now everyone leaves WhatsApp and iMessage instead of voicemails. For the exceptions, we have prepared this article to set up custom voicemail greetings on iOS with some sample Voicemail Greeting messages for iPhone, which takes almost less than two minutes if you correctly follow the steps. Undoubtedly, many professionals still actively use the voicemail feature for office purposes.

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    That's why you have to put a little "you" when it comes to voicemail ".The best part of all of this is because you can't make a phone call and at least the person who makes the call is happy to listen to the information.What is your greeting?Is it automated or are you personalized to suit your personality?Many times when we call our friends, family or any other place, all we get is voice mail.
    Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn:

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    6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.

    This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.
    No44: Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.

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    Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.

    Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
    Save Time by Building Phone Greeting and Voicemail Scripts. Most advanced cloud call center software offer a variety of phone greetings and voicemail types that can be customized according to the needs of your business.. Effective customized greetings are integral to call center success. The greetings and voicemail messages that callers hear when they connect with your call center set the tone

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"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How are you?" cromagnon, May 26, 2003 Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Messages: 1,463 You have reached the room of Matt and Brad. I am busy throwing Brad out the window (scream, quickly diminishing), so please leave a message. We had to try about 6 times before we didn't laugh while making it. Our RA came in and asked if everything was alright from my screaming.

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3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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4. Waiting Message. What callers hear when they enter the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “All of our agents are currently busy. Please hold and we will answer your call as soon as possible.”

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As probably know, a professional voicemail greeting can make or break leaving a great impression. However, it all starts with your voicemail script.

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