You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
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Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These
3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible.
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Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings
“This is Slappy McGee. Leave a brief message, telling me why you’re calling, and what’s in it for me. Unless you’re Boots, then DO NOT leave a message. I’m still trying to get rid of those fleas you gave me. Thanks a lot. Hashtag sarcasm.” 8. Tooth extraction “Did you get the part about the gravy?” Photo by Shutterstock
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As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...
9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.
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38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
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Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!
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Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.
If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser.
Hello. You have reached Erin Klineman, Marketing Manager for Stone & Associates. I am currently out of the office attending a conference until August 4th. I will be checking messages daily, however, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Marketing Specialist, Michael Kim at extension 240. Otherwise, please leave a message, and I will call you back at my earliest opportunity.
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But when the information on the other side of the line is clear, it really lets someone down.Now, since we're talking about voice mail, the standard greetings that are usually embedded in phone companies are so boring and mechanical.Again, "leave a message after the tone" or "you have reached 7 ".
The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
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No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/
5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.
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Motorola Unlock. Mobile Playground. Fun Exchange Forum. Purple Leopard. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.
Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
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Unfortunately, sometimes things get too busy in the salon for it to be possible to have a staff member only on reception duty. As a result, you rely on a salon voicemail greeting to do the job. But is it doing the job?
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What's better than one of these not-so-funny voicemail messages? A voicemail greeting that's well written and professionally recorded. The most important thing to remember when writing a new voicemail is don't waste the caller's time. A concise, informative voicemail may seem "square," but its better than irritating and alienating potential business opportunity. Tags: resources, tips, greetings Recent Blogs Taking Your Presentations To The Next Level With Audio and Voice April 01, 2019 Tools to Support Message on Hold Production October 12, 2018 tips (186) resources (163) message on hold (154) marketing (118) customer experience (101) Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes >
best voicemail welcome message
If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser.
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All content protected under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Content theft, either print or electronic, is a Federal offense. SERVICES Overview Greetings Voice Prompts Message On Hold PRICING STANDARD PRICING Greetings & Prompts Message On Hold PLANS & PACKAGES Word Credits Message On Hold Plans SOLUTIONS Cloud PBX Recordings IVR Recordings Call Center Recordings EXAMPLES Voices Music By Industry Scripts RESOURCES TOOLS Quoting Calculator Word Estimation Calculator Audio Converter RESOURCES How It Works Contact Us Blog Knowledge Base FAQ PARTNERS Programs Service Providers Resellers SIGN IN GET STARTED Tweet Creating solid business voicemail greetings requires a little finesse. You want to make the best impression and set the right tone. However, sometimes you need to break from the norm and create business voicemails that will do some of the work for you. Whether you are dealing with frustrated callers, want to further promote your business, or have important info to share, here are the top 8 voicemail greetings and sample voicemail scripts your business should consider.
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(Bullwinkle) Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine. (Rocky) Again? (Bullwinkle) Nuthin' up my sleeve. Presto! Must have been a wrong number. (Rocky) Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.
"Hey it's _____, and it's either I'm ignoring your call or I really can't get to the phone. Leave a message."
By clicking submit you agree to Phorest Salon Software storing and processing this information for your request. Please review our Privacy Policy. Please leave this field blank Please leave this field blank Name Last Name Email Address Phone Number Business Type Number of Employees Business Name Social Media or Website Link I agree to receive free tips on salon management. Subscribe to the Phorest blog for topics on leadership, management and salon success, with insights from the industry's top experts. Please leave this field blank Name Last Name Email Address Number of Employees Business Name I agree to receive free tips on salon management. Please leave this field blank
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].
Feel free to add a personal touch to make your voicemail message fun and interesting. Clients will feel reassured when they know their messages have been received and you will get back to them.
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You have reached xxx-xxxx. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in “as-is” condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don’t return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium Hello Select your address Account & Lists Returns & Orders Best Sellers Prime Customer Service New Releases Today's Deals Pharmacy Books Fashion Registry Toys & Games Kindle Books Gift Cards Amazon Home Sell Computers Automotive Coupons Home Improvement Shopper Toolkit Video Games Smart Home Find a Gift Beauty & Personal Care Health & Household Amazon Basics Pet Supplies TV & Video Handmade Baby Disability Customer Support Amazon Music Unlimited Amazon Music HD Amazon Music Prime Free Streaming Music Buy Music Open Web Player Settings Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. To enjoy Prime Music, go to Your Music Library and transfer your account to Amazon.com (US). After Hours You're Hosed 0:7 $0.99 After Hours You're out of Luck 0:11 $0.99 All Lines Busy Wait Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Answered It's Not Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Attention....Never Mind 0:6 $0.99 Attention....We Forgot 0:7 $0.99 Automated Answer If We Had More Money 0:8 $0.99 Baggage Search and Good Stuff Taken 0:9 $0.99 Biz Hours Whenever 0:5 $0.99 Call Back When You Know What You're Talking About 0:4 $0.99 Complaint Dept Hang Up 0:4 $0.99 Emergency Talking Faster 0:4 $0.99 Exit Stop Pushing and Shoving 0:4 $0.99 For Legal Evidence Call Will Be Recorded 0:7 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready or Get It Together 0:5 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready 0:4 $0.99 In Emergency Kiss Your Ass Goodbye 0:6 $0.99 Last One Please Turn out Lights 0:3 $0.99 Leave Tray Tables Down 0:7 $0.99 People Cutting in Line Thrown Out 0:4 $0.99 Pick up You Guns and Exit 0:3 $0.99 Please Keep Asking for Help 0:4 $0.99 Please Never Call Again 0:3 $0.99 Please Welcome a Real Loser 0:5 $0.99 Reached Number in Error Pay Attention.Wav 0:4 $0.99 Service Is Just a Word 0:6 $0.99 Someone May Be on the Line Shortly 0:7 $0.99 Sorry Lights on No One Home 0:4 $0.99 Speak With Someone Who Knows 0:5 $0.99 To Reach Compulsive Disorder Dept 0:4 $0.99 Un-Attended Bag....Take It 0:5 $0.99 Un-Attended Bags Taken and Put on Ebay 0:10 $0.99 Un-Attended Children Given Caffiene and Puppy 0:8 $0.99 Water Landing Seat Cushion 0:8 $0.99 We Will Get to Your Call When We Feel Like It 0:6 $0.99 You Will Never Be Connected to a Live Person 0:6 $0.99 Your Call Is Important Not 0:7 $0.99 Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC. Additional taxes may apply. By placing your order, you agree to our Terms of Use.
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While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude. Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.
As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.
As one of the best-selling VoIP devices, magicJack has allowed people to use their Internet connection to make both mobile and landline...
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We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you’ll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny …
what to say for your personal voicemail greeting
"Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."
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It's 2013. Do we still need to talk about voicemail messages on cell phones? When was the last time you checked your inbox? When was the last time you left a message?? 7 Audio eGreeting Cards You Can Send Year-Round July 24, 2012 Juli Durante customer experience, branding, greetings
A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.
Hello, can you hear me? Hello from Ellen. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.
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“Holiday voicemail greeting is the perfect opportunity to personalize the usually neutral corporate communication.” 9 scripts for holiday voicemail greetings. Below we have listed several ideas for great voicemail messages, depending on your company’s needs. 1. Happy [X holiday]! You’ve reached [ …
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I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.
8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty.
You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings]. We are currently off-duty. Our business hours are [Monday through Saturday, 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you on the next business day. Thank you.
Funny msg ideas for friend. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite. Leave a message. Instead of leaving a message on your friend's wall or sending him an email, probably you want to leave a voicemail VMS to your buddy in Facebook and wish him a Happy Birthday.
I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever!
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6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.
There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.
but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'.
Home Personal My Voicemail Greeting. My Voicemail Greeting. TRACKS: 58 CATEGORY: PERSONAL RIGHTS: PERSONAL VIEWS: 217,842. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing (sung) Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg. am_spock.
Ok Yes. This voicemail script is definitely what I would like to use in my upward movement in securing motivated sellers.
