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Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. The roses have wilted, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. The roses stink, sorta like sheep. But leave your name, number, and message after the beep. The roses are molding, the violets are rotten. And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten.
Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee’s voicemail), it doesn’t preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
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With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest
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Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.
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This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!
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I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
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No26: (Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ...Validation: A great professional voicemail greeting should thank the caller for their call and apologize for missing it. ...Motivation: The aim of a professional voicemail is to keep the caller on the line long enough to listen to your message. ...
Wrap up with a call to action, an explicit call to action again speaking to their subconscious mind. So here's what you have to do next. Take a moment, leave me a message with your name, phone number twice, including your area code, the address of the property you're thinking of selling, your asking price. A lot of people don't like to include that because they don't want the seller fixating on a price. I like to know what's on their mind if they even have a starting point. You noticed, I don't say what you're asking, what, what you need to get for the property, because I'm probably not going to be able to offer them their asking price, but I'd like to know what, if anything, they have in mind.
2. 605-475-6961: Harry Potter's contact. This one is for the Harry Potter Universe fans. If you are seeking admission into the fabled Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, then dial this line.
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7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.
Dave is out. Jane is out. Rover is out. This is their answering machine. I am in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of the beep leave your message.
That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.
33. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We’re currently closed to celebrate [X holiday], but we’ll be back on [X date]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message so our team can get back to you when we return.
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Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …
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Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
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I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
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As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.
Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.
"Hi. You've reached my voicemail. Please leave your name, number, and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn't be done over text."
“Hello, you’ve reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you’re so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]” “Hi, you’ve reached [your name, the office of X company]. We’re closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year’s, Fourth of July, day].” “Happy holidays! [I’m, the team at X company is] away until [date], however, we’ll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful [day, week].” Join me in updating our voicemail greetings — so that people everywhere will be impressed by our professional voicemails. Recent Posts Get Verified on Instagram in Six Simple Steps TikTok Basics – Authenticity and Brands Brand Loyalty Remains High Anvixa™ Ranked #1 Social Media Agency in Miami The 10 Most Expensive Logo Redesign & Brand Campaigns Categories Advertising Anvixa News Business Design Lifestyle Marketing Mobile Social Media Web Development Digital Advertising Social Media Content Production Social Media Management Social Media Advertising Website Development coming soon eCommerce Marketing coming soon Fashion Marketing coming soon R.E. Brokerage Marketing coming soon RESMA™ REALTOR® Program REALTOR® Marketing under development Blogs & Stories Web Design Portfolio Accessibility Statement Terms of Services Privacy Policy
Sometimes, you need to step away from work and live a little! This is perfectly okay, but make sure you leave a well-recorded voicemail greeting to keep your customers happy and content. Read these two examples of professional vacation greetings.
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
You can’t always respond to the mobile phone and contacting 15 times is not encouraging. Ship a textual content or go away a voicemail. • beautiful | GirlsStuff
9. "Hey, this is [your name]. Thanks for reaching out. I'm busy at the moment, but if you leave your name, number, and message, I'll return your call.”
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it.
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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
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Hello, this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.")
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“Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?”
“Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d leave a message at the beep. Hello, can you hear me? I’m in California dreaming about the message that you’ll leave. Hello from Ellen.”
Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just missing your guy, let him know how you feel with a sweet voicemail. If you can't be with your guy, but want to let him know you're thinking of him, a cute voicemail is the perfect solution.
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38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …
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Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the …
Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
Yes, it draws out the curiosity seekers and then it filters them out before you waste your time on the phone with them. So for us it moves the ball forward with a much higher ratio of the right people. Even if we're actually speaking with fewer people by comparison, but how do you do that effectively? Well, good news in my 18 years in the game now I think I've got it down pretty solid. A finely tuned voicemail script you're looking at right here for seller calls. That's part art and part social science. I think it sets the stage for people and filters out tire kickers, sets the ball beautifully for us to then pass it over for a proper conversation. So I want to walk you through my script and I want to walk you through the 24 hour script for absentee owners in this video.
Now that you know which script to use, how do you record it? Depending on your budget and the resources available to you, you can record the script yourself, use a text-to-speech program, or hire a professional voice actor to record your greeting.
Caller ID and missed call alerts now serve as their own form of call messaging. People can see who called. They assume they need to contact you. It’s much faster to scroll through a list of incoming callers than to listen to recorded messages. Some people even use audio-to-text transcription options in their cars or from their mobile phones that turn voice messages into notes.
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– Thank you for calling (name of the company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 8 to access our fax on-demand system. Press 9 for a company directory, or press 0 for the operator.
8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."
Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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A professional voicemail should be short and succinct. Simply introduce your company, ask the caller to leave their information, and let the caller know when to expect a callback. Once you record your greeting, you can easily upload it into the OpenPhone app. Simply go to your phone number’s settings, then choose to record a greeting, upload an mp3 file, or use text-to-speech.
