2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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But if you can’t get an actual answering machine or afford an assistant to do the job, you can try out the best answering machine apps for Android. They may not be perfect but they get the job done. Note: The best answering machine apps for Android were tested on a Vivo V9 smartphone. The apps worked OK, and there were no major problems faced during testing.
Many busy businesses utilize auto attendant greetings to make a great first impression, however, if your business relies on the personal touch of a live receptionist, it is important to have a plan in place when that position is unstaffed. Make sure your voicemail greeting contains the useful information that your receptionist would normally provide. This could include: location & directions, office hours, website URL, or social media info, as well as any pertinent company information.
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Wrap up with a call to action, an explicit call to action again speaking to their subconscious mind. So here's what you have to do next. Take a moment, leave me a message with your name, phone number twice, including your area code, the address of the property you're thinking of selling, your asking price. A lot of people don't like to include that because they don't want the seller fixating on a price. I like to know what's on their mind if they even have a starting point. You noticed, I don't say what you're asking, what, what you need to get for the property, because I'm probably not going to be able to offer them their asking price, but I'd like to know what, if anything, they have in mind.
Saying that your have available slots for Thursday can be tricky, and also requires more work on your end, as you will need to keep relentlessly updating your salon voicemail message to adapt it. However you should give the time when you are next open. Remember to give your web address if guiding your clients to book online.
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By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.
Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These
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Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!
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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
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She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
Best Wishes CelebrationsBirthday Congratulations Holidays Get Well Love Sympathy Thank You
Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, you’ve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (“Press 1 for…, Press 2 for…), or simply explaining why the call isn’t available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep!
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3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.
10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY — Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he’s still out there somewhere. So . . . leave your name and number and tell us where *YOU* saw Elvis!
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22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."
If it is bad news, do not leave the bad news in a voice mail. Good news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and you will be glad to hear all of Fluffy’s testing came back fine. She is good to go until her next appointment.” Bad news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and we have the results of Fluffy’s tests. Please
About the AuthorLenny Zeltser develops products and programs that use security to achieve business results. He is the CISO at Axonius and Faculty Fellow at SANS Institute. Lenny has been leading efforts to establish resilient security practices and solve hard security problems for over two decades. A respected author and practitioner, he has been advancing tradecraft and contributing to the community. His insights build upon real-world experience, a Computer Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and an MBA degree from MIT Sloan.
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Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following: • Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
Woman Breaks Down How To Shut Down Men Asking For Your Number With Fake Voicemail
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Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So... Leave your name and number and tell us where YOU saw Elvis!
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For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
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It’s frustrating enough to reach a voicemail… being helpful and friendly will go a long way and reduce annoyance!
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I have a confession to make: I haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting in nearly a decade. Since then, I've (hopefully) become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you'd think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority.
Jimmy pulled over while on his way to Dallas to give his friend Mark a call. Alas Mark didn’t answer so Jimmy decides to leave him a voicemail.
If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.
No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
This sound begins with a dark unsteady thud. The following sharp sustained tone is layered by a silent Morse code ... 3-way-communication60HZ-AMproc.wav - mp3 version 3-way-communication60HZ-AMproc.wav - ogg version 3-way-communication60HZ-AMproc.wav - waveform 3-way-communication60HZ-AMproc.wav - spectrogram 78610.0
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04You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Our representatives are all currently engaged. If you leave us a message with your name and number, we will get back to you in the earliest possible time. Thank you for calling and have a good day. Lines can often get busy for companies that have several representatives. This reassures clients that someone will get back to them once they are free.
No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
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Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings
Informal voicemail greetings are those that don’t adhere to the rules of professional and business voicemail greetings. Here, you are free to just leave a simple greeting, or use it to show your more witty side. This style of greetings can be used for both home and business if you like, depending on the type of caller you expect. For instance, a novelty shop could probably create a rather informal message, using sound effects that represent the type of items they sell.
Please read what the event is about. It is NOT about people asking questions on issues. It is about "How can Congress effectively use Facebook". :) Facebook DC Live: Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) | Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105580199526052)
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Need your voicemail recording as soon as possible? Depending on the complexity of your job, you can receive your final audio files in as little as one day.
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28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help.
Every professional knows how important having a LinkedIn profile is to network with people in the...
Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time. Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings. I might even play my beep for you.
The best resumes stand out because of choice of words, not because of qualifications. Everyone who...
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder. With a professional greeting, you’ll continue nurturing prospects even if you don’t pick up the phone.
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Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
High quality polycarbonate. Access to all ports. Fade and Scratch resistant. Vacuum-form printed in U.S.A. Learn More » Description : Free Funny Voicemail ringtone download, mp3 ringtone Funny Voicemail free for all mobile phones, Free Download Now! CATEGORIES AlternativeBluesBollywoodChildrenChristian & GospelClassicalComedyContact RingtonesCountryDanceElectronicaEntertainmentGamesHip hopHolidayIphoneJazzLatinMessage TonesNewsNews & PoliticsOtherPets & AnimalsPopR&B/SoulrapReggaeRockSayingsSound EffectsWorld Threads Threads Posts Advanced View First Unread Thread Tools Search this Thread Log in | Register By logging into your account, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, and to the use of cookies as described therein. The Hull Truth - Boating and Fishing Forum > BOATING FORUMS > Dockside Chat By logging into your account, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, and to the use of cookies as described therein. If you are having trouble signing in, please email [email protected] with your username and we will help you. We thank you for your patience as we help you access the new site! This means that if you post something that might be considered political, you will be suspended. It is at the sole discretion of the mod team, and if someone reports your post for politics, you can be assured a suspension is on the way. Reply Like Isn't this months old? You missed out, think it's been posted twice.
Who thought a voicemail system could be so fun? You can copy & paste one of the scripts above into the OpenPhone voicemail interface and create a professional voiceover instantly. Want to learn more about what else is possible with OpenPhone? How to set up auto-replies; Create snippets (or text message templates) How to record phone calls
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There is no question that people talk about unexpected situations more than expected situations. The will example will certainly prove my point.
“Glad you called, but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number, so I don’t get mixed up with different offers, and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye!”
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4. HulloMail Smart Voicemail. HulloMail is among the best visual voicemail app for android 2018 offering advanced voicemail services with its simple and easy-to-use interface.
If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.
We believe in civility, kindness, being welcome mats without ever being a door mat, and we understand that we’re expressing and continually forming our character, and our legacy, with every word we say and action we take.
“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”
Funny pre-recorded voice mail and answering machine messages. Custom Voice Greetings Personal voice greetings custom made just for you. Create your custom greeting through our business section. Dazzle your friends and callers with a professional voice greeting customized just for you. Or make them laugh with a funny pre-recorded voice greeting!
