"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Of course, your phone rang because someone wanted to get in touch. They got your voicemail because you were busy or just not there. If you section off a block of your day to check voicemails, let the caller know so they can expect a time for you to return their call. People …
You can definitely convert your home, office, or cell phone greetings that show a bit of your unique personality. Depending on what type of calls come in and where you’re receiving them, you too can have fun selecting serious, unique, interesting, or funny voicemail greetings.
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After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server.
Funny Voice Mail Greetings - Phone Message Downloads The following audio collection contains funny, bizarre, and sometimes down right strange greetings that will be a sure fire hit with your caller. Expect lots of laughs when you add these hilarious and unusual answering ringtone audio messages to personalize your mobile and home phone.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Hi, This is _____’s Cell Phone Message Audition . If you would like to enter your message in our
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No49: This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES.
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If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner who’s debating the benefits of getting a voicemail greeting, keep reading!
Holiday Voicemail Script Sample. Thank you for calling ABC Company. We are currently closed for the holiday. Our normal business hours are 8 am to 8 pm, eastern time, Monday through Friday. Your call is very important to us. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message regarding your …
Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.
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Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.
Funny Answering Machine Messages. "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." Â "Hi, you have reached the Borg collective.
26. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m either on another call, on a top secret mission to Mars, or I’ve just stepped away from my desk for the day. Leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back tomorrow or in about seven months.
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Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
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01Hello this is [your name], I’m either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your details, along with a short message and I’ll get back to you. This is created by individual staff for their specific number or extensions. It’s a great voicemail greeting for work when you are on another line or away from your desk.
A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.
47. Hi, this is [name], [company]’s [job title]. I’m happy to help you with [task], but I’m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!
Looney Tunes No Hang-ups No Hang ups Chick Hearn Telephone Answering Tape At the sound of the beep Every Excuse In the Book FurmanNet Matthew Furman Silly answering machine silly greetings messages funny answering machine greetings comedy answering machine silly voicemail silly voice mail novelty greetings funny messages for answering machines
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20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."
Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail greetings simple. MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses.
5. I checked my final recording by listening to my voicemail message fr om both a cell phone and a landline, and also asked a friend to listen for a second opinion. My new voicemail greeting: My new personal voice message recording sounds clear, concise and sophisticated.
Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!
I offered them a fair cash offer in a timely fashion and then that's a major benefit, a quick easy sale, you know, when dealing with motivated sellers in tough situations, that's really what they're looking for. You may deal with some people sometimes who are just focused exclusively on the price, but I find more often than not, sellers just want a quick, easy solution to the problem that they're in, which means a quick, easy sale and which is why I say you can avoid all the hassles typically that come along with selling your house through an agent or on your own.
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Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.
5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.
“In case you have forgotten, this is a machine – my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
Website: https://saraharpminter.org/answer/pre-recorded-answering-machine-messages
21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.
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4. Provide your voicemail system's password. You will be prompted to enter the passcode to your voicemail account, if you have set one (which, hopefully, you have).
Zombies doing whatever zombies do when they are feeling exultant and joyous...about brains. eerie spooky horror dreamlike Halloween uneasy strange distant ambient haunted abandoned - mp3 version abandoned - ogg version abandoned - waveform abandoned - spectrogram 59521.1
You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.
If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want. But you can tell me all of that in the message you
Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
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Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality? Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off.
6. After listening to each message, decide what you want to do with it. The most recent voicemail message that you've received should start playing. When it finishes, you will be given some choices about what you want to do with the message.
Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, debate has ensued about whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place. (Skeptics have questioned facets such as whether the narrator would not only have been able to tell at a distance that the book one of the assaulting women was carrying was a Bible, but to identify the specific version of Bible — and why the narrator would think to note that detail in his description.) A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box (the restaurant chain most frequently mentioned in circulated versions of this recording) produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I’m not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet.
Now, as far as i can tell, my Dad has never sent a text msg in his life. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. He has no reason to text. I also wouldn't put him into a general category when it comes to dad jokes. Meaning he might not have enjoyed this as much as I. So, after much deliberation I decided to welcome my Dad to the world of SMS the only way I felt was appropriate to the relationship we share.
Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.”
“Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”
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Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I’ll get back to you as soon as it’s safe for you to come out of hiding.
The description reproduced above sets up the following scenario: While an operations manager employed by a restaurant (variously claimed to be Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, Burger King, or some other fast food chain) is commuting to the
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Keep it simple, concise and to the point. Callers won’t need your life story, and won’t want to wait around for a 2-minute greeting to end just so they can leave a message. Don’t hide the details, tell them where you will be, when you will be there, or when you won’t be there, and how to get in touch.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.
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Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ...Validation: A great professional voicemail greeting should thank the caller for their call and apologize for missing it. ...Motivation: The aim of a professional voicemail is to keep the caller on the line long enough to listen to your message. ...
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