"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1.
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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
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Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call.
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“You’ve obviously reached this message in error because I don’t want to talk to you or anyone else for that matter. Now go lick your butt or something.” “Hello, My Name is Angie, and I’m a Cat-Huffer” Cats and Bags: 2 Very Important Scientific Experiments The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers
OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions.
Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.
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Customer experience is today’s business battleground. At a time where it’s common for even the most established businesses to deliver poor service, incompetent support, and just outright bad communication, how do you stand out? As big companies fail in the customer experience department, doors open for small business owners and entrepreneurs to distinguish themselves.
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In your greeting, get to the point, and keep it concise. A Little Humor Goes a Long Way. If your greeting displays a lighthearted warmth, that is great as it puts a personal spin on your business and lends personality to your brand. But make sure that your humor is professional and appropriate.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."