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Those who know me know I can hold a conversation. I love people, and my desire to share with them carries over to leaving cell phone messages. Sadly, I know better than to leave long messages, and I have no excuse, but I tend to chatter on, and on, and on, enjoying a conversation with, essentially, myself.

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A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
2011 funny voicemail softwares - Free download - FreeWares Funny voicemail greetings about the economy: sprint voicemail password, .

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This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.
Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

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1. Personal Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello! You’ve reached (insert company name.) This is (insert name) in the (insert department.) My apologizes for not being available to take your call, but I’m on the line helping another customer (insert business’s most attractive result or purpose point.)
There are plenty of options for business voicemail messages, including professional greetings, casual messages, and even funny ones. Consider your brand voice and target audience to choose the tone. And include directions for those who call.

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“Hi, this is Ralph. You’re getting this message because I’m probably sleeping. Leave your message at the tone and maybe I’ll call you back when I’m awake. If this is about anything food-related, please press 411 and your call will be rerouted to the dog, who will immediately wake me up to take your call. Do not use 411 because you want to tell me you lost a whisker or your human changed cat litter brands on you. I don’t care. Food only! And anyway, why aren’t YOU sleeping? Weirdo.”

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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."

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    No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

    5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
    8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."

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    "Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
    A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.

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    As probably know, a professional voicemail greeting can make or break leaving a great impression. However, it all starts with your voicemail script.

    I’ve got you covered. I’ve compiled some of the best voicemail greetings you can use for virtually any situation you’ll come across.
    I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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    “Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”

    Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn:
    If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.

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Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate?

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If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.

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Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone …

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9. AT&T Visual Voicemail. With AT&T Visual Voicemail, you get easier access to voicemails. You get visual voicemails straight from your mobile carrier that increases the accuracy of reading the voicemails and removes the need to call from your mail inbox.

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