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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.

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Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home. .

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We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you’ll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny …
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OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions.
Businesses should have two main types of greetings to create an excellent call experience. The first one is what we call a “welcome greeting” – this greeting welcomes callers to your business. Typically, a welcome greeting will present a menu of call options like hours, location, or customer service. For more details on how to create a welcome greeting for your general business number, read this article.

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Hey, it's ________. Sorry you can't get through. Leave your name and your number and I'll get back to you.

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Your voicemail is important. Keep in mind, this is essentially one of the first impressions the hiring manager will have from you. You need to make sure your voicemail is as professional as possible. Whether you are trying to be funny, trying to show off your singing abilities or shouting in the car with the windows down, chances are the hiring manager won’t be impressed. Go into a quiet room and record a simple, “Hi, you’ve reached Kim Costa. I’m sorry I missed your call, but if you please leave your name, number and a brief message I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” You really can’t go wrong with this. Trust me when I say that hiring managers probably don’t want to hear your high school’s fight song.

  • what should my personal voicemail greeting say

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    This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.
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  • funny voicemail recording

    Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person.

    Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
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  • personal voicemail greeting for cell phone

    In many offices, senior officers have their personal extensions. In such a scenario, or if you work from home, it becomes important for the greeting to your voicemail to be drafted in a formal manner. Given below are some examples that you can use for your personal answering machine at work.

    She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
    I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.

  • sample of business voicemail greetings

    I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

    Need your voicemail recording as soon as possible? Depending on the complexity of your job, you can receive your final audio files in as little as one day.
    Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

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personal voicemail greeting examples

Website: https://www.shrm.org/ResourcesAndTools/hr-topics/technology/Pages/Personal-Cellphone-Privacy-at-Work.aspx

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“Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”

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