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1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

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My labour was filed for a software engineer position (java, udb, etc) 3 years ago. Over that time, my role has changed to a project manager. Infact I don't do any coding anymore. If I invoke AC21 after 180 days, can I switch to a Project Manager position?
Website: http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/08/make-a-positive-impression-with-your-personal-voicemail-greeting/ .

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).
I love this script! Thank you for giving down to earth advice. I would love to work with it.

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Wizard of Ads™ Partner, Mick Torbay, has a solution for those times when you just can’t make it to the phone, but want to keep your customer thinking and feeling positive about you. Mick writes and records magical outgoing phone messages. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-June-2021.mp3
“Hi. This is (name). If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. Bye!”

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4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

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Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, several radio programs have aired interviews with persons claiming to have some involvement with this audio clip. On 4 February 2005, the nationally syndicated Coast to Coast AM show put through a caller who maintained he was the person who had been beaten by the women as described in the purported voicemail message. In late February, several stations broadcast

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    Website: https://www.reference.com/world-view/examples-professional-voicemail-greeting-93942ec15af9e87a

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    No40: Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.

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    Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!

    “I’m answering this phone for my friend who tells me it’s your nature to hang up and not leave a message, but I should remind you that nature is what we are put on this earth to rise above. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology.”
    Sound upbeat in your message. When recording, be sure to say your message with a smile on your face. It’s obvious when people aren’t happy in their message. Since your work revolves around keeping happy customers, do your part by keeping a happy-sounding voicemail message.

  • funny professional voicemail greetings

    6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.

    Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
    5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone.

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    2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.

    This call is from a couple of kids that decided to leave a prank on my voicemail. They are acting like they are being attacked by a vampire bat. This kid has left me pranks in the past also.
    So, some of the embedded commands that are in here, I made them purple but are also in all caps. Just to make sure I remember to emphasize it a little bit as I'm talking, so just to give you an idea, Mr. Seller, here's how I make it easy and convenient when you sell your house to me.

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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.

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We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system. Join or Sign In Congregational forums are now Christians Only New rule about videos Changes in the Life Stages section Prayer banner Covid-19 Denial (Narrator's voice There Dale sits, reading a magazine.Suddenly the telephone rings! "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.

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-- Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?

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