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You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. What's the funniest/coolest/cleverest/favorite Answering Machine/Voicemail/Answerphone Messages you've heard, or even done yourself? In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did...

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6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.
Being personable is key in having your caller look forward to receiving your callback. To do this, use different intonations in your voice to convey enthusiasm. .

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Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
1. [FREE] Pre Recorded Answering Machine Messages | HOT. Take a look at these original greetings that will make your friends and family call again and again.

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Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails.

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You can’t call someone back if you don’t have their number. It seems basic, but it’s easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way.

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No one likes to be on hold. Make that experience enjoyable for your customers and clients. I can voice custom messages, with music in the background, talking about your business or products while they wait. Reassure them that someone will be with them soon.

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    Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

    49. Hello, you’ve reached the customer service team for [X company]. Our representatives are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name and a callback number, someone will get back to you shortly.
    5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone.

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    6. Full Waiting Queue Message. What the caller hears when the waiting queue is full. Sample Scripts: “We are currently experiencing high call volume. Please leave a message with your name and phone number and we will return your call as soon as possible.”

    2. Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
    Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. 😀

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    I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”

    44. Hello, you’ve reached [X department] at [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be happy to assist you when we return. Leave a quick message that includes a callback number and a team member will reach out within one business day.
    Cell Phone Greetings make personal voice mail greetings easier to get from the professionals. Cell Phone Greeting.net will install your professional voice mail messages from our professional voice talent. Phone greetings are the professional way to promote your business.

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    When creating an individual voicemail greeting, clearly identify yourself, your role, and your company, and let the caller know when you will be able to return their call. Here are a few voicemail greeting scripts you can use with your personal work phone extension: On Another Call Example Script. Hi, this is [YOUR NAME] from [COMPANY NAME].

    7. Automated And Recorded Voicemail Greetings Overview. Thank You! Callers Hear A Professionally Recorded Greeting Introducing Your Company, And Then The Caller Is Transferred Out To Speak To You Live.
    5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. Thank you!"

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5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. Thank you!"

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Website: https://www.openphone.co/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings/

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If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid.The difference between a good morning and a bad morning is oftentimes the first message that you receive in the morning. If you want a fail-safe message that could work on the most important people in your lifelike your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or even your parents, you can always take the light and humorous approach.

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