“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
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We’re all familiar with this type of voicemail greeting. Simply put, a caller reaches you by dialing your number or extension directly. For an optimal personal voicemail greeting, be clear about who you are, the team you’re on, and when the caller can expect a callback. Unlike company and department voicemail greetings, you may not be able to configure a greeting for open and closed business hours. If that’s the case, use a general voicemail greeting that accommodates both scenarios.
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A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So, leave your name and number and tell us where you saw Elvis!
To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
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Here is a great short example: Hello this is [first name] with {business name} in {city name} . I apologize I cannot answer the call at the moment, please leave me your name, number, and I will return the call as soon as get back to the phone. Here you have let the caller know that they have reached your business, and that you are sorry you can’t answer right away. It assures them that you are interested in their call, and that you will get back with them as soon as you can.
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Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message.
Not many might consider it, but your business voicemail greeting is probably more important than you think. Now, we probably all hate recording those generic voicemail greetings at home or on our cell phones. But when it comes to our business – a generic, lifeless robotic greeting probably just won’t cut it. And thanks to the software that comes with your business VoIP solution, it is easier than ever to change your greetings on the fly.