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really funny voicemail greetings

If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator. .

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You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”
Website: https://www.mightycall.com/blog/the-best-services-to-record-a-voicemail-greeting-for-business/

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On this page, we’ve provided some script samples and templates of voicemail greetings and auto attendant messages you can use for your business phone, VOIP service, PBX/PABX system as well as cell/mobile/smart phone greetings. If you need help writing your phone scripts and greetings or want to have your phone recordings professionally recorded by a professional voice talent, contact Macryn
Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.

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This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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Voice mail is only impersonal if you make it that way. One way to help increase the effectiveness of voice mail is to change your greeting at least weekly if not daily. Your greeting should let the caller know who they have reached, what is the persons status ( out of the office, in the office but in meetings etc), when the caller can expect to

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    Get creative. Poke good-natured fun, or tease them with your dry or self-deprecating humor. Remember that the goal is to make them feel happy to start the day, and not the other way around!

    For many years, businesses in Fort Worth have relied on voicemail greetings to deliver a professional impression to callers. More recently, the voicemail greeting format has been adapted by businesses to communicate in-person visit information, special offers, and customer feedback.
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    I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.

    When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings
    When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back! This is name speaking. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. So how about an early birthday present? These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.

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    Sometimes you just can’t get to the phone and if it is an important business call coming from a client or customer, you want to

    Oh, and if you’re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest Zoé Bélisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salon’s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Software’s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by Zoé Bélisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customers’ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, there’s still quite a bit of fear […] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their “Spotify Wrapped” or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over […] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing “The beauty industry is a different beast!” That’s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had […] Book a free demo Request a quote
    We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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    We believe in civility, kindness, being welcome mats without ever being a door mat, and we understand that we’re expressing and continually forming our character, and our legacy, with every word we say and action we take.

    “Hello. *your name*’s answering machine is broken; this is his/her refrigerator. You can leave a message, but please say it really slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.”
    5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].

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31. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’ll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!

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39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.

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Whether it’s an out-of-stock product, a canceled event, or social media snafu, there are times when your business may see an influx of frustrated callers. While it is important to address their concerns head-on, you may not be able to answer each call as it’s received. Make sure you use best practices for dealing with angry customers, and that your voicemail greeting sets the appropriate tone. Avoid defensive language, validate their concerns, and keep them informed as to how you are handling the situation.

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8. 605–475–6973: Quit complaining. Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their high-class problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately?

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