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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple!
Man I just had a wreck right in front of me. This guy ran a red light and hit four old ladies in an Impala. .

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Rehearse or write down your message before recording it. Remember that old saying “practice makes perfect?” It’s certainly true when it comes to creating an electronic greeting. The more you’ve rehearsed, the easier the message will be to restate. If you don’t have time to practice, writing down the greeting before recording it – and then reading it aloud from the paper – may help you stay focused on the correct wording.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
Need more ideas for professional voicemail greetings? Explore our blog. When you're ready to have your business voicemail greetings professionally recorded, get started here! Topics: Voicemail Messages subscribe to email updates Keep up to date on the latest phone system and voice recording trends, tips and ideas by getting new blog posts delivered to your email inbox for FREE!

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5. 605-475-6959: The bad breath notification hotline. Have you ever met someone that, on first glance, looks to be an ideal mate but as soon as they open their mouth and begin speaking, an unbelievable odour comes from their mouth?

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    When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

    8. We could be in, we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.
    Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

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    You can’t always respond to the mobile phone and contacting 15 times is not encouraging. Ship a textual content or go away a voicemail. • beautiful | GirlsStuff

    – Thanks for calling. This is (name). Today is a Friday and I am working from our corporate office. If you need to reach me immediately, please call (number). Otherwise, please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
    Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .

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    Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues.

    A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....
    How are you doing?We must meet this weekend.How about I call you?...Hello....Hello....Who is this?Is anyone in line?....Road side cafe;You kill them, we cook them.Leave your order and we will be back.Sorry, I miss you.One of the reasons I can't make a phone call may be: a) I'm with my girl (laughs), B) I'm completely wasted and can't remember how to use the phone, or c) I just don't want to talk to you.

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    Can you suggest some voice mail greetings, I am exhausted.It would be better if you left it as a message after beeping.We can go in. we can go out.You can leave us a message and find out later.

    Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.
    Voicemail Normal. Saw Leave A Voicemai. Japan Girl Voicemail. Greetings. Mig phone greeting. Funny Vmail Greet. Elmer Fudd Greeting. Silence Of The Lambs. Leave Your Message.

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I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!

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Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a…

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Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:

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