If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number, I'd appreciate it.
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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
He’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy.
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Website: https://www.voicemail-greetings.com/000-selection-of-voicemail-greetings.html
46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
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01Hello this is [your name], I’m either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your details, along with a short message and I’ll get back to you. This is created by individual staff for their specific number or extensions. It’s a great voicemail greeting for work when you are on another line or away from your desk.
18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.
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A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to sing a little ditty inspired by the number one song, “Hello.”
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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
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42. Hi, you’ve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.
My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....
I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling
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Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages.
This is it. If you are not satisfied with the custom voicemail greeting, then follow the same steps and do it again.
2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
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“Hi, you’ve called [name] at [XYZ company]. I’m currently busy [hiking through a rainforest, exploring China, climbing Mount Peru etc.] and so I can’t take your call right now. I won’t be back in the office until [date] and I look forward to hearing from you then.
37. Hi, this is [company name]. Sorry we missed your call. Leave a message and we’ll get back to you shortly.
This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?
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good funny voicemail greetings
Another way to make up funny voicemail messages is to act like a device has come alive. For instance, you could say,"Hello, I'm Bob's hair dryer, and I've taken over because I'm way more interesting. If you'd like to leave a message for him and have your hair dried at the same time, just hold up the phone." Answering like an answering machine, a microwave, or refrigerator and using the functions of that device in the answer are easy ways to create a fun voicemail.
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1. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently unavailable, but leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
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It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!
“I am trapped in this box, and I can’t get out. Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!”
You might not be the kind of person who wants customers to go through long voicemails. If that sounds like you, here are a couple of short and sweet voicemail greetings that you can use to get your message across!
You can use any of the ideas for voicemail messages given in this article. Proper voicemail etiquette is extremely important while drafting a message for your phone. Voicemail messages should always be concise and to-the-point so that the caller is not confused by excess information. In the holiday season try to add holiday greetings to your voicemail. Drafting a voice mail message is very simple as long as you know exactly what you want to say and how to say it.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
10. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail is yet another great voicemail tool for your android devices for accessing and managing your voicemails.
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ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you).
Computer software have facilitated interaction between us and the computers. What are the different kinds of software? How many are they? Go through these examples of computer software to find…
If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.
– Sorry, I can’t be everywhere, and sitting by the phone ready to take your call, just isn’t going to happen. The best thing to do is to leave your message and not be offended that I wasn’t able to speak with you. Thanks.
For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder. With a professional greeting, you’ll continue nurturing prospects even if you don’t pick up the phone.
"Hey, what you doin'? Same here. Just Kidding, leave a message and call back. Bye!"
No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
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3. Voicemail Greetings For Business. You’ve reached (insert company name.) All of our team members are busy at the moment, but someone will return your call within (insert timeframe) if you’ll be so kind as to leave your name, number, and a brief message.
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Time to give stuff away again! And golly, you guys just can't get enough, can you? 🙂 Our letter of intent Our burned house letter Our option agreement Our motivated seller postcard 47 MLS keywords for REI A motivated seller phone script
No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
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6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.
Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.
You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”
You’ve worked hard on your application. You’ve double- and triple-checked for spelling errors and you know you are a perfect fit for this job. You’ve followed up on your application and made such a great impression that the employer decides they want to call you in for an interview. You are checking your phone, anxiously awaiting the call…but nothing seems to happen.
Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.
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It was funny the first time it got you, and then it was not funny the next 8,306 times.
I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.
After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to.
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Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5...4...3...2...1...
We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!
