This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.
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In sales, immediate communication with your prospects and current customers is important. Being available to answer questions or further negotiate a deal allows your clients to feel secure and more apt to purchase from you. But what if you can’t answer the phone when they call? Make sure you have a voicemail system set up so your clients have the opportunity to leave you a message.
4. Funny Voicemail Greetings. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are busy trying to save the world by [what your company does best]. If you want to learn more about how we do it, please leave us your name and phone number, and we will get back to you as soon as our mission is complete— which should be fairly soon.
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
About the AuthorLenny Zeltser develops products and programs that use security to achieve business results. He is the CISO at Axonius and Faculty Fellow at SANS Institute. Lenny has been leading efforts to establish resilient security practices and solve hard security problems for over two decades. A respected author and practitioner, he has been advancing tradecraft and contributing to the community. His insights build upon real-world experience, a Computer Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and an MBA degree from MIT Sloan.
2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.
“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”
A clever, witty voicemail message can be short or long, complex or simple, as long as it is entertaining. Using famous lines from TV shows or movies is a great place to start. There is a lot of creative wordplay that you can use based on famous lines from classics like The Twilight Zone. For instance, you could say, "Hello, you've reached the Twilight Phone, where every message is sent into another dimension. To receive an interdimensional call, just leave your name and number, and I'll call you from the closest parallel universe."
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
Creating funny voicemail messages that are fun for your callers to listen to can be quite entertaining for you too. Instead of leaving a standard, boring voicemail greeting in place, you can use a little creativity that makes callers chuckle or laugh out loud. An easy way to come up with ideas is to do a play on popular TV shows, parody a government agency, or give voice to a machine that has come to life and is expressing its unique personality. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered.
Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either.
Hello! This is [Nick on the West Coast Sales Team at LinkedPhone]. I am currently on vacation until [Friday, April 22nd] with limited access to email. If you require urgent assistance, please contact my lieutenant [Harold Kisp at 415-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and I will return your call when I’m back in the office. Thank you and I look forward to chatting!
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.
Of course, you NEED a voicemail greeting for the times your salon is closed at least. Here’s a checklist of best practices.
Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
So there ya go. Leave a comment below and you'll get to download my nifty, we-buy-houses voicemail script—easy peasy, macaroni-and-cheesy. And don’t forget to be awesome.