"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
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Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ...Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. ...Hi. ...Hello! ...A is for academics, B is for beer. ...Hi. ...Hi! ...This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. ...Hello, you are talking to a machine. ...
4. Hi, thanks for calling GetVoIP. We would love to help you out in anyway we can, but these Holidays are keeping us from getting anything done! We will be returning to the office after the New Year on Jan 2nd, but feel free to head over to our website GetVoIP.com to learn what you can. Happy holidays!
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Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt! BEEP Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.
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Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.
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4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts
answering machine wav by dean raul diarchangeli. 21 funny answering machine voice mailbox messages. 39 humorous and witty voicemail greetings BRANDONGAILLE COM. FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES FOR TELEMARKETERS.
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Various messages for using with my cellphone voicemail. - I certify that I am over 13 years old. - I agree to the privacy policy and the terms of usage. Membership is free, secure and easy.
4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded." Say this in a powerful booming tone, and then add on in your regular voice "I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues.
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#DidYouKnow Katharine’s voice inspired other great performances in the film industry? In The Lion in Winter, Katharine Hepburn played the mother of actor Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.
“Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”
News images provided by Press Association and Photocall Ireland unless otherwise stated. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography unless otherwise stated. Wire service provided by Associated Press.
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Man I just had a wreck right in front of me. This guy ran a red light and hit four old ladies in an Impala.
-Hello? Oh hey wait a minute I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you. You want to know why? Because I’m not here right now. So leave a message at the beep.
On the other hand, a stellar professional voicemail is more than just a way to ensure callers are heard. It’s actually a gateway to encourage recruiters, clients, connections, venders, and other callers to continue forward with the first step in developing a business relationship, which is them making contact. The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point.
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To set up voice mail, tap the Phone icon, tap the Voicemail icon and then "Greeting.". There are two options available: Default and Custom. If voice mail hasn't been set up previously on your phone, Default is selected, which means people will hear your wireless carrier's generic voice mail greeting when they call you.
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Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
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When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back! This is name speaking. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. So how about an early birthday present? These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.
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Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.
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Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
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Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
Unfortunately, sometimes things get too busy in the salon for it to be possible to have a staff member only on reception duty. As a result, you rely on a salon voicemail greeting to do the job. But is it doing the job?
Mick’s storyful messages are keeping customers happy even though their calls were not answered. So happy in fact, that those that hear the voicemail are sharing them with others and laughing along with the owner when he calls them back.
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
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interviews with a man named Michael Childs, who said that he was the one who left the voicemail message, that the clip was genuine, and that the accident described had taken place about six years earlier in Athens, Texas, while he was working as a construction manager for Jack in the Box. Although Mr. Childs’ voice certainly sounded very much like the one in the recording, without additional evidence we still can’t rule out the possibility that this clip was a prank rather than a live description of real events. David Mikkelson Will Banks Have To Report All Transactions Over $600 to IRS Under Biden Plan? Will Banks Have To Report All Transactions Over $600 to IRS Under Biden Plan? Did Breastfeeding Baby Die After Mother Received COVID-19 Vaccine Dose? Did Breastfeeding Baby Die After Mother Received COVID-19 Vaccine Dose? Did Biden Say Vaccines Protect Against Hurricanes? Did a Funeral Home Advertise Using the Slogan ‘Don’t Get Vaccinated’? Did a Funeral Home Advertise Using the Slogan ‘Don’t Get Vaccinated’? Facebook Allows Promotion of ‘Fake Masks’ for Children in Schools Facebook Allows Promotion of ‘Fake Masks’ for Children in Schools Are Members of Congress Exempt from the Federal Vaccine Mandate? Are Members of Congress Exempt from the Federal Vaccine Mandate? Did Glenn Beck Evacuate 5,100 Christians from Afghanistan? Did Biden Check Watch Multiple Times During Transfer of Fallen Soldiers? Did Biden Check Watch Multiple Times During Transfer of Fallen Soldiers? Like Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Contact Us Use our RSS Feed Terms of Use Privacy Policy Cookie Policy Don't Sell My Info Consent Preferences Become a Member What's New Fact Checks News About Us Contact Us My Account Log In Log Out Sound Communication: The Holdcom Blog Home Sound Communication: The Holdcom Blog Inside Professional Virtual Greeting Messages October 10, 2018 Jeremy Fishman greetings, website
Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:.
Good voicemail greetings should include your name and/or company, your reason for missing the call or an apology, and instructions for leaving a message. How to Turn Your Customer Complaints into Business Benefits 50% of Business Owners Over 50 Back Trump's National Emergency Declaration How Zoho Bookings Helps Your Business Grow Square Seller Fees Stay Consistent as PayPal, Venmo Raise Rates Sponsored by Square Use Emojis in your Business Communications? Than Check Out These! How Can Your Alma Mater Help Your Small Business? Annie Pilon is a Senior Staff Writer for Small Business Trends, covering entrepreneur profiles, interviews, feature stories, community news and in-depth, expert-based guides. When she’s not writing she can be found on her personal blog Wattlebird, and exploring all that her home state of Michigan has to offer. Small Business Trends is an award-winning online publication for small business owners, entrepreneurs and the people who interact with them. Our mission is to bring you "Small business success, delivered daily."
Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
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Funny Voicemail Greetings This isn’t a joke. At any rate, it is authentic! Two or three clients genuinely feel they’re disregarded when their voice message goes straight for voice message. Voice message personalization grants you to stay away from the contrary energies. It is commonsense to make entrancing phone messages great good tidings
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Make it funny! Now not everyone is the funniest comedian, and this time to practice a stand-up routine. No one wants to reach your voicemail just to be greeted with 15 knock-knock jokes. But you can easily add some humor, lighten up the tone a bit and try to leave people with a smile. Of course, keep it light – no dark humor here.
For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Noland Voyd. I do NOT want greeting messages. Update 2: cind, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.
These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing. It’s natural; not everyone has a funny bone inside them. But that doesn’t mean you get stuck with a boring, cliché greeting. It has to be different and contain some kind of style. And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail. These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas (or home phone).
This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
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As video marketing continues to take top priority on marketers agendas, companies and brands are scrambling to find the resources and funds for this highly engaging and sought after digital content.
No33: (Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back.
No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
No23: This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.)
Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top …
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Because they now know you as the contractor with the funny voicemail greeting, you already have a deeper connection with the lead than your competitors. It provides a very nice leeway into the conversation.
Straight forward, brings some understanding of seller being in a rough situation , no pressure of “you need to sell me your house because….”. And the fact that you will pay all closing costs with a small example of closing happenings is definately a wise move since alot of people dont really know what all is involved when it comes to selling,or buying, property. All n all it has the interest peaked to continue to listen and possibly be comfortable in leaving a message.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.
You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.
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Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.
A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to sing a little ditty inspired by the number one song, “Hello.”
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachineMessages. FREE. Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a list of various Answering Machine Messages and messages you can use on your voice mail system. 6thSenseDetectiveAgency.wav AdamSandlerPotSmokers.mp3 Africain.mp3 Afterlife.wav AliceCooper.wav
Like I said earlier, 99.9% of voicemail greetings are exactly the same. Go outside the box and create a hilarious voicemail greeting. Comedic messages create a memorable experience, encourage word of mouth and keep your callers on the line. Seems like a winning formula to me.
She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.