21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break 2. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages. 1.
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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?
Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt! BEEP Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
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I am from Ireland and its for a Multi national manager or executive. My attorney told me that form her experience it takes 4-6 weeks after approval of the I-140 as the visa numbers are current. Bit apprehensive to give the company as I dont see a need for anyone to know this info??? is it absolutely safe to travel with pending i 485 app with valid h1b stamping with receipt notice and completed fp.?we are kind of confuded whether to plan for the travel...We have not yet received the actual advance parole. i read somwhere that if u leave the country wth pending i 485 but without ap ur appl is considered abandoned.is this true.?..we have the option to change the trip to apr too.In a nutshell is it completely safe to travel on 485 pending appl without ap with valid stamping.?:confused: I wanted to start something good that i can work by my self and not cheating others. Brief History: I am working for a Food Processing company (A) in R&D. Company A was my sponsor for GC. I have been on EAD since Oct 2007 (filed 485 during July-Aug 2007 time period) :) . My I-140 was approved Jan 2007. My GC application was started in Apr 2006 - Perm process. Also, i still have my H1B(Extension) valid until Apr 2010. Company A uses a consulting firm for roughly about 25 - 35% of R&D projects. Reason to change: I believe this opportunity will have a significant change/growth to my career. Questions: :confused: Can i change my job to the consulting firm using EAD? What are the consequences i should expect from USCIS? Does the Consulting company have to get involved with any Immigration fillings? If i decide to work for the consulting firm, i will still be doing the same job for Company A but as a consultant + I will have additional projects with other Food Processing companies. I think labor application job description won't change (Company A to Consulting Firm) and this is where i struggle to understand the rules. Need your thoughts and Advice.
When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.
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Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message.
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Prospecting refers to the process through which a business attracts new clients. This, surprisingly, is not as easy as it may sound. It requires you . . .
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A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.
More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
nothing too crazy in terms of actual content, but my brother and i recorded our message in irish accents a while back, which was quite fun. we fooled plenty of people (i'm sure had any true irish folk called, they'd have vomited at the poor accent impersonations!) Aug 1, 2004 19,801 8 The City of Culture, Englandshire I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message! I've heard messages like that before although they've kept on saying "hello?" a few times (louder and louder) to make you think that they've actually answered the phone but they can't hear you.
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The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.
And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings. 1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
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As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.
No33: (Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back.
The voicemail function allows the caller to leave a message in case you are busy. It informs the caller of your status and assures that the message will be heard. For instance, good voicemail greetings at corporate firms create a pleasant impression on the caller’s mind or a hilarious voicemail can make someone’s day. Parents can be assured that an urgent message will be delivered once you get access to your phone.
"Hi. You've reached my voicemail. Please leave your name, number, and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn't be done over text."
(Bullwinkle) Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine. (Rocky) Again? (Bullwinkle) Nuthin' up my sleeve. Presto! Must have been a wrong number. (Rocky) Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
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44. Hello, you’ve reached [X department] at [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be happy to assist you when we return. Leave a quick message that includes a callback number and a team member will reach out within one business day.
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
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“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”
Yes, I agree. It’s sad. But writing is a solitary activity, and I’m more of a people person. Even if the other person isn’t on the other end of the phone, it’s still nice to have someone to chat with. : )
47. Hi, this is [name], [company]’s [job title]. I’m happy to help you with [task], but I’m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!
Wrap up with a call to action, an explicit call to action again speaking to their subconscious mind. So here's what you have to do next. Take a moment, leave me a message with your name, phone number twice, including your area code, the address of the property you're thinking of selling, your asking price. A lot of people don't like to include that because they don't want the seller fixating on a price. I like to know what's on their mind if they even have a starting point. You noticed, I don't say what you're asking, what, what you need to get for the property, because I'm probably not going to be able to offer them their asking price, but I'd like to know what, if anything, they have in mind.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."
As we iterated in 5 Voicemail Message Myths, when you are leaving a message for your potential leads, there are certain rules everyone should follow. Those myths have been studied and show that dismissing them result in fewer callbacks. Nonetheless, few studies have been dedicated to voicemail greetings. Therefore, you should think outside of the box and do something different. A comedic voicemail like this famous greeting from George Costanza in Seinfeld is a great example.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it.
Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.
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Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality.
“This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”
Image credit to Far Reach Inc. http://www.farreachinc.com/blog/far-reach/2015/01/08/ho-ho-oh-how-to-create-unforgettable-corporate-holiday-greetings
3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them?
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Your voicemail greeting can make a positive or negative impression on people. By considering your target audience and tone, you should be able to keep it positive. Length: Don’t make people wait minutes to leave a message. Apologies: If people expect your to be available, apologize for missing their call. Set expectations: Let people know when they may receive a callback, but be realistic. Accuracy: If you change your voicemail for things like holidays, be sure to update it when needed. How do You Set Up a Business Voicemail?
Funny, the majority of us have a phone on us more hours of the day than not, but actually we’re harder to talk to than ever. On personal calls, and especially business calls, you’re much more likely to reach voicemail than the actual person you’re hoping to engage in conversation.
Responding to voicemails is time-consuming. Fortunately, with the right greeting, you might be able to save yourself some hassle. If you don’t have an auto attendant, you can give callers the information they are looking for with your voicemail greeting. Of course, this means that your greeting may be a little lengthy, but that can work in your favor as callers will only stay on the line to leave a message if they still need assistance.
Eight days ago she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.
Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …
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If you choose to do this, make sure you develop a discipline. If you say you return calls within 2 hours, it needs to be 2 hours. Delivering on what you promise is what’s going to make your customer service stand out when it comes to busy times and people reaching your voicemail.
There are many businesses that operate online or even brick and mortar, that have business voicemail lines that are only there to direct customers and Away from the phone Free voicemail message scripts and demos
Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
Hello, (your name) summer home. Some are home, some aren’t. Leave your message at the tone.
I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.
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5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.
Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.
Not funny at all. More obnoxious then anything! I just hate those voice mails asking ME to call them back because they have “questions”. Got one yesterday… Bob, this is __________ I have a few questions, please call me at XXX_XXX_XXXX… and then when you call it’s a flipping company that knows NOTHING about what I do or even that they called me in the first place. Don’t know about you but I’m rather protective of my phone time. And yes, they could use a dose of Art & Sam’s seminar… Hey one in Phoenix in a couple weeks
You can use any of the ideas for voicemail messages given in this article. Proper voicemail etiquette is extremely important while drafting a message for your phone. Voicemail messages should always be concise and to-the-point so that the caller is not confused by excess information. In the holiday season try to add holiday greetings to your voicemail. Drafting a voice mail message is very simple as long as you know exactly what you want to say and how to say it.
Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
It’s the way that people contact you when you are busy with other clients or customers, and cannot get to the phone. It is often the customers or clients first impression of your business or brand, you need to leave a great impression. The worst thing is for a first time caller, or even a returning customer, to get a short blurb like “Leave a message i’ll call you back”. Or, just a beep after the ring.
